Dancing with the Stars, 8 p.m., ABC
Cher won't stop until she's appeared in an array of colorful wigs on every reality TV competition. After serving as a mentor on The Voice, she stops by Dancing with the Stars tonight as a guest judge. At last, we've finally found the answer to who can out-fabulous Bruno Tonioli! She'll also perform, because, hello, Cher. In other news: Snooki was voted off last week, and we're actually pretty bummed about it, so excuse us while we go take a cold hard look at ourselves in the mirror.
Mike & Molly, 9 p.m., CBS
Molly (Melissa McCarthy) is at a crossroads in her career, which leads her to make a major decision. You mean like whether to stop doing this mediocre CBS show and start churning out some more hilarious movies? The girl's too talented for this Chuck Lorre drivel!
47th Annual CMA Awards, 8 p.m., ABC
Brad Paisley and Carrie Underwood host country music's big night for what feels like the 100th time. Is it strange that we're half-expecting Nashville's Connie Britton to show up as Rayna James?
Inside the Actors Studio, 8 p.m., Bravo
The cast of Arrested Development gathers on James Lipton's show. We're just so excited anytime these people gather on TV together that we don't even have anything snarky to say.
Food Network's 20th Birthday Party, 9 p.m., Food
Mo Rocca hosts this special celebrating the culinary channel's two-decade milestone. Sure to be the best catered party of all time!
Snow Bride, 8 p.m., Hallmark
What's that, you say? It's barely a week after Halloween, and therefore way too soon to commence with Christmas movies? Not so, says Hallmark. They've been showing original holiday movies nonstop for the past week! This one debuting tonight is about a reporter who heads to a mountain retreat, natch, and winds up posing as the girlfriend of the son of a famous political family. Does she secretly expose newsworthy scoops about the family or trust that she's falling in love for real? When in doubt on the Hallmark Channel, go with the least plausible and most emotionally satisfying answer!