Westminster Kennel Club Dog Show, 8 p.m., USA: Get ready for two days of annoying announcers pretending to be experts on the Boykin spaniel, the Icelandic sheepdog and the Cane Corso, three of the six new breeds allowed in this year's event.
House, 8 p.m., Fox: A woman with an extraordinary memory has temporary paralysis. Apparently she couldn't remember how to move. What, too soon?
SERIES PREMIERE Mad Love, 8:30 p.m., CBS: A man and a woman who really like each other go on a double date with their best friends, who hate each other. Alas, TV teaches us we can only be happy if our friends control our lives.
V, 9 p.m., ABC: So Ryan flips and wants to eliminate the resistance. All four of them. How can this show be so similar to the 1980s version yet be nothing like it?
Lights Out, 10 p.m., FX: Lights gets ready for his first fight in five years. If only George Foreman were a guest star.
Hard Time, 10 p.m., NatGeo: Say, these women in prison are nothing like the ones in the movies they play on Cinemax after 11 p.m. Well, maybe the mean ones.
SEASON PREMIERE Survivor: Redemption Island, 8 p.m., CBS: For the 22nd season, people voted off at tribal council get sent to an island where they compete to get back to the main event.
American Idol, 8 p.m., Fox: It's time to go to Hollywood and pick the top 20. It's like the NFL's Wild Card Weekend, if the games consisted only of the halftime shows.
Top Chef, 10 p.m., Bravo: The chefs must make dishes for Cookie Monster, Telly and Elmo from Sesame Street before starring in a 30-minute commercial for all the great deals at Target.
NASCAR racing, 2 p.m., Speed: If you can't wait until Sunday for the Daytona 500, watch the Gatorade Duel on the oval right now.
Grey's Anatomy, 9 p.m., ABC: Meredith volunteers to run the ER for a night to prove she can handle the stress. Handle the stress? This from a woman who blames her father for her mother cheating on him?
CSI: Crime Scene Investigation, 9 p.m., CBS: Say hello to Justin Bieber, who's back as Jason McCann, then say goodbye, because the rumors may be true.
Killed by Coyotes?, 10 p.m., NatGeo: Besides the obvious allure of the sensationalist title, we'd really like to know if a Canadian folk singer was, in fact, the first adult in recorded human history to be attacked and killed by a pack of coyotes.
— Joshua Gillin, firstname.lastname@example.org