Dwayne "The Rock" Johnson continues his improbable journey from pro wrestling champ to kiddie plaything in Race to Witch Mountain (PG). Disney didn't make the sci-fi adventure available for review.
Johnson has streak of family-friendly comedy hits going (Get Smart, The Game Plan) and a gig playing the Tooth Fairy in another this year. The action route that everyone expected tanked with Doom and Walking Tall, after a promising start in Mummy movies and The Rundown.
Johnson might even lift director Andy Fickman's needless addition to a mediocre Disney franchise, co-written by Tampa Jesuit High School graduate Matt Lopez.
Escape to Witch Mountain (1975) and Return from Witch Mountain (1978) are two of the studio's most forgettable live-action flicks. Two TV versions didn't lend any posterity. Race to Witch Mountain continues the story of two extraterrestrial children (AnnaSophia Robb, Alexander Ludwig) on the lam. Johnson plays a cabbie protecting them, assisted by a UFO expert (Carla Gugino, Watchmen).
Miss March (R) was originally titled Miss February and slated for a Valentines weekend release. Fox Atomic decided to dodge that competition, rename the movie and debut Friday.
Changing poster art is one thing, but Miss March may be worth watching just to see if mouths move to pronounce four syllables ("Feh-bru-air-ee") and only one syllable is sounded ("March"). That would be easier to translate than a Godzilla flick, and equally clumsy dubbing.
Zack Cregger (TV's The Whitest Kids U' Know) plays Eugene, awakened from a four-year coma to discover his virginal girlfriend (Raquel Alessi) posed nude for Playboy. She was Miss February — darn it, I mean March — and Eugene wants to win her back.
Eugene and a hyper-horny pal (Trevor Moore) plot to crash a party at the publisher's mansion, so expect a lot of jiggle and smirking humor. Since The House Bunny performed well last year, Hugh Hefner will make an appearance.