The overblown remake of the 1970s TV show Land of the Lost proves that $100 million can't buy childhood memories, or create new ones. Everything cheesy that made the Saturday morning series something to cherish — laughably animated dinosaurs, unconvincing costumes and sets that could be blown over by ceiling fans — has been fortified, yet the cheap charm hasn't.
There's also a decidedly 21st century tone to Land of the Lost, violating the innocent adventure of the series. No matter how much creators Sid and Marty Krofft talk up the movie's devotion to the TV show's spirit, I don't recall Chaka the caveboy being chronically horny, or Rick Marshall gulping dino-urine and being sprayed with dino-loogies. The language here would've made my parents turn off the TV set.
Land of the Lost is just another rude, crude Hollywood ripoff capitalizing on fond pre-cable memories, like Starsky and Hutch and The Dukes of Hazzard before it. It isn't likely to spark curiosity in the series, but it'll make a pile of money.
Will Ferrell stars as Rick Marshall, now a scientist instead of a park ranger, and dabbling in time travel. Everyone thinks he's a joke, and few actors play deluded assurance funnier than Ferrell. So far, so good. Then we meet the new Holly (Anna Friel), who isn't Rick's daughter but a comely paleontologist with a discovery that may prove Rick right. You can smell forced romance in the air.
But Rick needs a rival to complete the cliche. Enter the new Will (Danny McBride), a hammerhead running raft tours down an underground river. But that won't be much competition since Will is a profane blowhard ogling Holly, who isn't impressed. The trio winds up paddling into a time warp, getting dumped into a parallel dimension.
They meet Chaka (Jorma Taccone), who immediately begins groping Holly's breasts for comedy. Will takes a turn, too. It's clear that we're not only in an alternate dimension but an altered state of taste that continues throughout and may offend parents. Just because a movie has dinosaurs doesn't mean it's for kids.
The problem is that Ferrell and McBride are comedians always going for the angry laughs, which screenwriters Chris Henchy and Dennis McNicholas gladly provide. They turn a wholesome family adventure into typical gross-out comedy connected by crude one-liners and extended improvisations that a star like Ferrell can demand but not always deliver upon.
The best moments in Land of the Lost are the dinosaur effects and a running gag with a T-rex offended by Rick's comment about his walnut-sized brain. They almost make you forget Will's needless banjo version of the TV show's theme song, or recurring references to A Chorus Line that smack of WALL-E's infatuation with Hello Dolly. But the lowbrow humor sticks with you.
Plans are in the works for a movie version of the Kroffts' psychedelic series H.R. Pufnstuf that recreational drug users in the '70s enjoyed as much as the kids. Judging by this remake, it'll be called Pineapple Express II.
Steve Persall can be reached at persall@sptimes.com or (727) 893-8365. Read his blog, Reeling in the Years, at blogs.tampabay.com/movies.
. Review
Land of the Lost
Grade: C.
Director: Brad Silberling.
Cast: Will Ferrell, Danny McBride, Anna Friel, Jorma Taccone, John Boylan, Matt Lauer.
Screenplay: Chris Henchy, Dennis McNicholas, based on characters created by Sid and Marty Krofft.
Rating: PG-13; profanity, crude and sexual content, drug references.
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