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Could Debbie Downer, other 'SNL' goofballs become movie stars? Let's consider . . .

Time will tell whether MacGruber joins The Blues Brothers or Wayne's World among classic SNL spinoffs, or dies an It's Pat death. But for now, here are some SNL favorites that deserve a shot at glory. — Jay Cridlin, Times staff writer

Debbie Downer

Starring: Rachel Dratch

The pitch: American Splendor meets Precious.

The plot: In a world beset by North Korean train explosions and feline AIDS, nothing ever goes right for the saddest sack in town. In gritty indie-film style, we learn the story of Debbie's 2-year stint at Children's, her elevated blood-mercury level and — it's official! — her inability to have kids. (Wah-wah.) Guaranteed to bring the house down at Sundance.

Dream director: Noah Baumbach

Potential pitfalls: Co-stars Jimmy Fallon and Horatio Sanz won't be able to keep a straight face during filming.

George W. Bush

Starring: Will Ferrell as Bush, Dana Carvey as Bush Sr., Darrell Hammond as Al Gore/Dick Cheney

The pitch: It's like W., but intentionally funny.

The plot: As Obama takes office, the outgoing 43rd president reflects on a montage of his most awesomest achievements, from throwing that strike during the World Series to landing that jet on the aircraft carrier to that one time he found an arrowhead while mowing the lawn in Crawford. The entire film is set to Free Bird.

Dream director: Adam McKay is probably bound by federal law to direct anything Will Ferrell does.

Potential pitfalls: We're having trouble thinking of a role for comic Danny McBride, Ferrell and McKay's favorite portly comic. Michael Moore, maybe?

The Barry Gibb Talk Show

Starring: Jimmy Fallon, Justin Timberlake

The pitch: A satire of Saturday Night Fever, with a little All the President's Men thrown in for good measure.

The plot: Hailing from the mean streets of Sydney, Barry and Robin Gibb are international pop stars, with plenty of chest hair and crazy cool medallions. But all they really want is to be taken seriously in the world of politics. After discovering a terrible secret about former California Lt. Gov. Cruz Bustamante, the duo take to the airwaves to make their perfectly harmonized voices heard.

Dream director: Rob Marshall. This movie needs razzle-dazzle dance numbers and sweet karate moves, and the director of Chicago, Nine and Memoirs of a Geisha is just the guy to help.

Potential pitfalls: Does Robin add anything to the plot? No. No, he doesn't.

The Ambiguously Gay Duo

Starring: Steve Carell, Stephen Colbert

The pitch: A live-action comic book flick starring the original voices of Ace and Gary. Can we buy our tickets now?

The plot: As Congress prepares for a vote on Don't Ask, Don't Tell, the Capitol is taken hostage by the nefarious supervillain Bighead. The world turns to America's most heroic confirmed bachelors for help, only to find them doing dancercize to Lady Gaga in their shared studio apartment. In unison, Ace and Gary ask: "What's everyone looking at?"

Dream director: Gus Van Sant

Potential pitfalls: Carell and Colbert might be too busy with their own shows to film a movie. But we're convinced that Ace and Gary's will-they-or-won't-they romantic tension isn't dead yet. Audiences across America would cheer during the inevitable onscreen kiss.

The Continental

Starring: Christopher Walken

The pitch: The world is over Robert Pattinson and Taylor Lautner. Teenage girls need a new pinup for their locker doors. This mustachioed master of seduction with the beguiling accent and so-so talent for pickup lines could be the next big thing.

The plot: After one too many glasses of fine champagna, the Continental wakes up married to the beautiful woman he has so often attempted to woo. The ensuing escapades are part The Hangover, part What Happens In Vegas and part The Deer Hunter.

Dream director: Spike Jonze. He and Walken were magic together on the set of Fatboy Slim's Weapon of Choice video.

Potential pitfalls: That Dos Equis "Most Interesting Man in the World" totally ripped off the Continental's shtick!

Could Debbie Downer, other 'SNL' goofballs become movie stars? Let's consider . . . 05/18/10 [Last modified: Tuesday, May 18, 2010 11:57pm]
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