Observe and Report
The gist: Ronnie is a security guard at a mall, but he's not goofy-funny like Kevin James' Paul Blart: Mall Cop. No, Ronnie's more peculiar-funny, in that he thinks being a mall cop is a true call to arms when a flasher invades his turf. R
Starring: Seth Rogen, Anna Faris, Michael Pena, Ray Liotta and Jesse Plemons.
The buzz: A supposed comic homage to '70s cop flicks, this one is actually kinda disturbing in between the gross jokes, especially when (spoiler alert!) he basically date rapes Faris. "You can't root for Ronnie. You can't identify with him. You can't hope he gets the girl — any girl. But you may want to look on with stunned fascination as he ticks away, ready to explode," the Charlotte Observer, uh, observes.
Hannah Montana: The Movie
The gist: The ubiquitous 'tween fave goes home to Redneckville with paw to see how the kinfolk live. Wasn't this an episode of Jem back in the '80s? G
Starring: Miley Cyrus, Emily Osment, Peter Gunn, Melora Hardin, Barry Bostwick, Taylor Swift, Vanessa Williams and Billy Ray Cyrus.
The buzz: We turn to L.A. Weekly for the most succinct review: "It's almost foolish to review Hannah Montana: The Movie as anything other than the latest cog in a cultural phenomenon/mass-marketing juggernaut."
The gist: A sociological experiment in which nerds who like an anime and manga series are duped into believing a live-action translation of their favorite series won't be execrable, despite multiple trailers trying to convince them otherwise. PG
Starring: Justin Chatwin, James Marsters, Jamie Chung, Emmy Rossum, Eriko Tamura, Joon Park, Chow Yun-Fat and Ernie Hudson.
The buzz: Only Variety's review is in, calling it "a pleasing if paint-by-numbers live-action makeover ... which half-heartedly tries to keep the faith for its pubescent male fan base," but something tells us this will be much worse than that.
— Joshua Gillin email@example.com