New movies this week
The Back-Up Plan
The gist: A woman whose expectations have been unrealistically high decides to get artificially inseminated, but then meets a guy who just might be the one. Think about what happened the last time you waited, girlfriend. PG-13
Starring: Jennifer Lopez, Alex O'Loughlin, Eric Christian Olsen, Michaela Watkins, Noureen DeWulf, Melissa McCarthy and Danneel Harris.
The buzz: J.Lo's acting career is what needs the back-up plan, it sounds like. "The Back-Up Plan doesn't deserve comparison with sitcoms. It plays like an unendurable TV commercial about beautiful people with great lifestyles and not a thought in their empty little heads," the Chicago Sun-Times' Roger Ebert rebukes.
The gist: A comic-book revenge tale about a special forces unit out to exact revenge on the creative team that made this R-rated story PG-13 so it can be sold to kids. PG-13
Starring: Jeffrey Dean Morgan, Zoe Saldana, Chris Evans, Idris Elba, Columbus Short, Holt McCallany, Oscar Jaenada and Jason Patric.
The buzz: Even the presence of new geek idol Saldana isn't enough for this hokey translation. "The Losers is the sort of pyro-heavy exercise parodied in Tropic Thunder, and no amount of production polish can hide the hollowness beneath its junk-food high," Variety says.
The gist: Celebrate Earth Day by learning about it for about 100 minutes. Well, not Earth, specifically, but the Earth's oceans, anyway. No MPAA rating
Starring: Jacques Perrin and Lancelot Perrin, with the voice of Pierce Brosnan.
The buzz: Disney still knows how to do up a documentary. "An evolutionary leap forward, a visually exquisite film that doesn't ignore the truths of pollution and predatory survival," the St. Louis Post-Dispatch marvels.
— Joshua Gillin firstname.lastname@example.org