New movies this week
Act of Valor
The gist: REAL-LIFE NAVY SEALS star in this R-rated re-enactment of actual operations performed by REAL-LIFE NAVY SEALS capitalizing on the popularity of REAL-LIFE NAVY SEALS after those badasses gunned down the world's most-wanted terrorist. Did we mention it has REAL-LIFE NAVY SEALS? R
The cast: REAL-LIFE NAVY SEALS. Duh.
The buzz: Critics are really hating it, even though it stars REAL-LIFE NAVY SEALS. How can you expect a grounded moviegoing experience when this thing started life as a Navy recruitment film? Like, for real. "We don't get to know the characters as individuals, they don't have personality traits, they have no back stories, they don't speak in colorful dialogue, and after the movie you'd find yourself describing events but not people," the Chicago Sun-Times' Roger Ebert says. Last we checked, that's the way special-ops people preferred it. REAL-LIFE NAVY SEALS!
The gist: Two Manhattanites have to leave the city and join the real world only to get sucked into a weird community where people care about other people and not money, objects or status. That makes the place weird, right? R
The cast: Paul Rudd, Jennifer Aniston, Ray Liotta, Justin Theroux, Malin Akerman, Ken Marino and Joe Lo Truglio.
The buzz: Even we have to admit, it's a Jennifer Aniston movie that sounds interesting. "It's obvious Wanderlust was a lot more fun to make than it is to watch. But if you set enough funny people loose in front of a camera, they'll find a way to make you laugh, even if it's in spite of your better judgment," the Arizona Republic says.
The gist: A woman who escaped a kidnapper a year prior comes home one night to find her sister has been abducted. Boy, that girl really shouldn't have borrowed her sister's clothes that night, huh? PG-13
The cast: Amanda Seyfried, Daniel Sunjata, Jennifer Carpenter, Sebastian Stan, Wes Bentley and Nick Searcy.
The buzz: No reviews anywhere for this one. Maybe the critics got abducted.
Tyler Perry's Good Deeds
The gist: A rich businessman meets a cleaning lady and decides to help her get back on her feet. Yeah, as if someone who looks like Thandie Newton would be a cleaning lady. How do they expect us to believe this? PG-13
The cast: Perry, Newton, Gabrielle Union, Eddie Cibrian, Brian J. White and Jordenn Thompson.
The buzz: Another one with no reviews, but Perry rarely screens his stuff in advance — with the money his movies make, he doesn't have to.
— Joshua Gillin email@example.com