New in Town
The gist: Another yawner romantic comedy so bad it was banished to the weekend of the Super Bowl, during which only the most henpicked guys relent and take their masters out for a movie. PG-13
Starring: Renee Zellweger, Harry Connick Jr., J.K. Simmons, Siobhan Fallon Hogan, Frances Conroy, Mike O'Brien and Rashida Jones.
The buzz: Just tell sweetie you've seen this one before: "Strictly old hat — and a poorly assembled hat at that," the Hollywood Reporter says.
The gist: The guy who played Oskar Schindler is a spy whose daughter gets kidnapped, allowing him to use his specialties to track down, torture and murder the guys who did it. They should save this for Father's Day. PG-13
Starring: Liam Neeson, Famke Janssen, Maggie Grace, Katie Cassidy and Goran Kostic.
The buzz: The movie is meh, but Liam is stil Liam — don't forget, he was in Darkman and The Phanton Menace, too. "Neeson growls his way through the functional dialogue as an unstoppable killing machine in impressive, cold-eyed style," Variety says.
The gist: Another Korean horror remake, this one is about a kid who ends up in a psych ward and comes back to find her dad has married his nurse after the kid's mother died. Then the kid's mom comes back as a ghost to warn her about the stepmom. The trailer already makes us afraid of the broiler under the oven. PG-13
Starring: Elizabeth Banks, Emily Browning, Arielle Kebbel and David Strathairn.
The buzz: Not half bad, folks are saying, thanks to the cast. "Emily Browning's face helps The Uninvited work so well," the Chicago Sun-Times' Roger Ebert claims. "She makes you fear for her, and that's half the battle. Yet she's so fresh she's ready for a Jane Austen role."
— Joshua Gillin firstname.lastname@example.org