New movies this week
Resident Evil: Retribution
The gist: This is the fifth (we think) movie in the franchise that bears only a passing resemblance to the video game series that it shares a title with, but whatever. It's Milla Jovovich jump-kicking CGI zombie monsters to death. As awesome as that sounds, it still manages to be a terrible saga. R
The cast: Jovovich, Sienna Guillory, Colin Salmon, Michelle Rodriguez, Kevin Durand, Shawn Roberts, Oded Fehr, Ali Larter and Johann Urb.
The buzz: There are absolutely no reviews available anywhere, because even writer-director Paul W.S. Anderson realizes these movies are a joke, but that isn't stopping them from working the "stars" from the previous installments into this one. That'll be a fun explanation.
For a Good Time, Call...
The gist: Two women who hate each other devise a business scheme to run a phone sex line out of the apartment they share, but somehow seem to run into some challenges. Indeed, what could be wrong with the business model of a phone sex line in the age of the Internet? R
The cast: Lauren Anne Miller, Ari Graynor, Seth Rogen, Justin Long, Mimi Rogers, Nia Vardalos and Don McManus.
The buzz: Uneven and not for everyone, but manages a good dramedy vibe for the right audience. "When it tires of the familiar setup and character dynamic, it delivers a minor surprise that makes both these women more interesting and complicated than they were a scene ago," the Boston Globe says.
The gist: A rich guy is trying to cheat people in a major business deal and has a sham family that is falling apart at the seams, with the cops trying to find a reason to arrest him, for good measure. A pretty good storyline for the 99-percenters, wouldn't you say? R
The cast: Richard Gere, Susan Sarandon, Tim Roth, Nate Parker, Laetitia Casta and Brit Marling.
The buzz: But wait, the one percent may like it, too. "Gere is so charming, so irresistible when he's on top of the world — when he's got all those plates humming in unison — that he kind of makes you root for his character to get away with it all," the AP notes.
Finding Nemo in 3D
The gist: Disney-Pixar attempts to squeeze several more bucks out of your wallet by reprocessing this 2003 Oscar-winning fish road tripper and showing it to your kids before the upcoming sequel really vacuums up your wallet. G
The cast: Voices of Albert Brooks, Ellen DeGeneres, Alexander Gould, Willem Dafoe, Brad Garrett and Allison Janney.
The buzz: Well, it's one of the most-beloved Pixar movies of all time, and it's underwater, so it lends itself to 3D pretty well, we'd think. "Think of this re-release as an encore, a handy touchstone for you and your kids. Finding Nemo was and remains the gold standard against which all other modern animated films are measured, a classic from the day it premiered," the Orlando Sentinel raves.
— Joshua Gillin firstname.lastname@example.org