To dub The Virginity Hit as this generation's American Pie would be too easy. It'd also be unfair. Sure, the film has tons in common with the 1999 teen sex comedy — thankfully no pie — but its intangibles set it apart from other trouser-shedding predecessors.
The Virginity Hit succeeds as a modern and unique take on the primary coming-of-age obsession of teenagers, in this case four boys in New Orleans who decide to videotape the quest to end their virginity YouTube-style. Classy, eh?
But there's a heart that beats beneath the surface. Granted, it's far below the surface, which is covered with more nudity, adult language and drug/alcohol abuse than the makers of Porky's, Little Darlings and the American Pie franchise could have ever dreamed up.
Matt (Matt Bennett) is the bespectacled geek with that heart, achingly trying to plan the perfect night to deflower his longtime girlfriend, Nicole (Nicole Weaver). Yes, for the sake of simplicity, or perhaps endearment, most characters share the actors' first names.
When Matt (who even looks like hopeless Pie virgin Jason Biggs) discovers that Nicole's drunken adventure at a frat party has robbed him of that opportunity, his life is thrown into chaos. His friends talk him into going through with the big night — albeit while secretly videotaping the whole event for revenge.
When that plan goes predictably awry, our horny little characters start to show a little depth.
Counseled by his friends that "sex isn't about love; sex is about sex," Matt begins to relax, growing some much-needed confidence and taking risks he'd never have considered before: confronting his recovering drug-addict father, embracing a sexual dalliance with a porn star and even breaking into Nicole's house for a chance at reconciliation.
If part of that is beginning to sound like it belongs on the ABC Family channel, don't be fooled. The Virginity Hit boasts Will Ferrell and Adam McKay among its producers, and the movie plays out like a full-length NC-17-rated version of something you'd find on their "Funny or Die" website. Director-screenwriters Andrew Gurland and Huck Botko's use of the grainy YouTube mockumentary format adds to the feeling that we're all just peering in on forbidden Internet porn at times.
Given the shocking amount of nudity, sexual situations and drug use — the four own a bong they ceremonially use to smoke pot after each conquest — it's a wonder The Virginity Hit scored only an R rating.
Maybe that's the real trouble with kids these days. They buy a bong long before they ever have the need to buy a condom.
Steve Spears can be reached at firstname.lastname@example.org.