all singers want to act. All actors want to sing. All reality TV stars want to design handbags. • Nine times out of 10, none of these people are qualified to do any of these things. • So the world surely snickered a few years back when John Mayer decided to try his hand at standup comedy. • "Everyone begs me not to do standup," Mayer told Rolling Stone in 2006. "Everyone connected to my well-being and on my payroll says standup is terrible. When I say, 'I'm doing standup tonight,' they hear, 'I'm going to start heroin.' " • And with good reason. For the most part, critics have responded tepidly to Mayer's standup material, which often touches on his celebrity girlfriends and the trappings of pop-music fame. In December, he stirred up controversy by making culturally insensitive jokes about a Pakistani comic. (He later apologized.) • But while his standup sets have been hit and miss, Mayer, who performs Friday at the St. Pete Times Forum (music, not humor) is a genuinely talented comic writer, as longtime readers of his blog can attest. And in the past year, he has found a medium that perfectly suits his quick wit and desire for an audience: Twitter. • With 2.9 million followers, @johncmayer is the sixth most popular tweeter, right between Oprah (No. 5) and, um, Twitter itself (No. 7). So if you're trying to decide whether John Mayer is actually funny, Twitter is a good place to start. Here are some of his best recent tweets.
Jay Cridlin, Times staff writer
"More people would watch the State of the Union Address if President Obama introduced a new gadget at the end. Just saying."
— 6:34 p.m. Jan. 27
"If I were on 24, I'd make sure to be in the bathroom during the last 5 minutes of every hour. Good things do NOT happen then."
— 4:57 p.m. Jan. 21
"Just read my Rolling Stone cover article. I'm still not sure if I would want to hang out with me."
— 6:31 p.m. Jan. 19
"You really get to know your pants when you travel." — 2:21 a.m. Jan. 12
"Hopping on the tour bus to San Diego. It's like a Greyhound except you're not allowed to poop in your seat."
— 12:26 p.m. Dec. 29
"Holiday typo: 'give my beast to your lovely wife!' "
— 4:55 p.m. Dec. 25
"Most compelling part of Avatar? The man next to me at the urinal who pulled his pants and boxers down to his knees. Alien indeed."
— 2:45 a.m. Dec. 19
"Accenture just dropped Tiger. Apparently he was no longer a good fit with that company that nobody knows what the hell they do."
— 3:28 p.m. Dec. 13
"I'm the George W. Bush of love: I may not have anything to show for myself now, but history will prove me a hero."
— 1:48 a.m. Nov. 22
"I wish I lived in an '80s movie. Then I could talk about my love life while playing racquetball with a friend."
— 4:15 p.m. Sept. 4