The Rays may be stinking up the AL East, but help is on the way. The wildly popular, and downright voodoolicious, postgame concert series starts May 30. In '08, the Rays never lost a game that featured a concert after the final out. That's 8-0. So bless you, MC Hammer. You, too, Kool & the Gang.
This year's slate of shows is even more stuffed — and not as Ribfesty, if you catch my drift — and includes an American Idol stud, a classic-rock queen and the hottest names in rap.
Shows are free with a game ticket; all but one is on a Saturday. Tickets and more info available at rays.mlb.com.
Here's the full rundown:
3 DOORS DOWN (May 30, Rays vs. Twins, 4:10 p.m.): These '90s-born rockers excel at Kryptonite and knuckly rock. They'll sound great after we stomp Justin Morneau's smug rump.
LUDACRIS (June 13, Rays vs. Nationals, 6:08 p.m.): The theme is African-American celebration, and who better to get the party started than the ATL's Luda. Shake your moneymaker, C.C.
PAT BENATAR (June 27, Rays vs. Marlins, 7:08 p.m.): On '80s Night, that slug Burrell (dude, you are single-handedly destroying my fantasy team) will only be the second most-popular Pat in the Trop.
SMASH MOUTH (July 11, Rays vs. Athletics, 6:08 p.m.): I was about to make fun of Smash Mouth. Then I realized if the Rays hadn't made the World Series, I'd be writing about Eddie Money right now.
FLO RIDA (July 31, Rays vs. Royals, 7:38 p.m.): The king of the download, the Sunshine State Superman, Flo Rida is the best get of the bunch. "Apple Bottom Jeans, Aybar with the furrr …"
DAUGHTRY (Aug. 1, Rays vs. Royals, 6:08 p.m.): Sooner or later, someone will break the free-concert winning streak. I say it's the Idol star. His wallet chain is obviously the devil's work.
THE B-52s (Aug. 15, Rays vs. Blue Jays, 7:08 p.m.): I bet big money the Sci-Fi Night performers tweak the hook of hit Love Shack to "Trop roof … rusted!" I know I would.
BIG & RICH (Aug. 22, Rays vs. Rangers, 7:08 p.m.): I bet big money the Country Night performers tweak the title of their biggest hit to Save a Horse, Ride a Zobrist. I know I would.
THE BEACH BOYS (Sept. 5, Rays vs. Tigers, 7:08 p.m.): A year ago, I predicted in print the Rays would make the World Series. On Beach Night, the Rays will clinch a playoff spot. I'm never wrong. Good Vibrations, boys and girls.