Because I'm a sadistic critic, only one of our Top 5 July shows in Tampa Bay will involve air conditioning. The rest are out in the full-blasted Florida furnace. Feel the swelter, rock fans! Sure, you could huddle inside for three months, watch McHale's Navy reruns until autumn. Or you could thrust your maw into the pyromaniacal insanity of Kiss and Motley Crue, go face-to-face with Gene Simmons in the brutal summer climes. Carpe Demon! Herewith, four shows to make you feel aliiive — and, um, one featuring Yah Mo B There.
Slipknot, Slayer, Motorhead (1-800-Ask-Gary Amphitheatre, July 13) Can you imagine the mosh pit at this speed-metal assemblage of machine-gun riffs and grunted vocals? It's going to look like a crimson tornado! Just reading the song titles makes me want to consult a physician: Wait and Bleed (Slipknot), Raining Blood (Slayer), Shake Your Blood (Motorhead). The Red Cross doesn't talk this much about precious life fluids! Remember, everyone: Please hydrate in between beating the heck out of each other. (livenation.com)
Michael McDonald, Donald Fagen, Boz Scaggs (Ruth Eckerd Hall, July 24) Calling themselves the Dukes of September Rhythm Revue, the former Doobie Brother, the Steely Dan vocalist and the Lido Shuffler join yacht-rock forces for a long, loose show. These guys have been friends for years; heck, MM cut his teeth singing backup for the Dan. The setlist is intriguing: covers of Chuck Berry and Sly Stone, plus hits from the gents (I Keep Forgettin', Peg, Lowdown). One concern, though: Where's Lido Shuffle? C'mon, Boz! (rutheckerdhall.com)
Kiss and Motley Crue (1-800-Ask-Gary Amphitheatre, July 28) This tandem of rock terrors is just sick and ridiculous and potentially awesome. The amount of pyro and related flammables at the Kiss-Crue throwdown — smack-dab in the middle of a Sunshine State summer, no less — is going to border on the surreal. Will it be fun? Absolutely. Will it be an endurance test that will leave you drained for weeks? You bet your sweat-soaked undies, son. (livenation.com)
Antiwarpt Music Festival (Downtown St. Petersburg, July 28) Ten stages, 99 indie bands (check out the Groves), all spread out over beautiful downtown St. Petersburg. It's funny how what once seemed so unfailingly cool — say, the long-running, uber-pierced Vans Warped Tour — is now considered by some a cruel, corporate monster that's spawned a local anti-establishment response. Which doesn't mean you can't do both, boys and girls. This is going to be a ginormo weekend for music in the 'Burg; you can sort your punk beliefs on Monday. (facebook.com/antiwarpt)
Vans Warped Tour (Vinoy Park, July 29) Celebrating its 17th year of regreattable tattoos and angry young music, the Vans Warped Tour returns to Vinoy Park with a full day of music, merchandise and sunburn. Tour faves Taking Back Sunday, We the Kings and New Found Glory (left) will all be back, but make sure to check out the neo-Runaways group Cherri Bomb out of Los Angeles; the Lovelis sisters will show the boys a thing or two. (vanswarpedtour.com)
Sean Daly can be reached at firstname.lastname@example.org. Follow @seandalypoplife on Twitter.