New movies this week
The Monuments Men
The gist: Seven arty-type dudes try and beat the Third Reich by reclaiming all the priceless artwork stolen by Nazis, giving George Clooney yet another opportunity to trot out his old-timey mustache and accent. PG-13
The cast: George Clooney, Matt Damon, John Goodman, Bill Murray, Cate Blanchett, Jean Dujardin, Bob Balaban, Hugh Bonneville
The buzz: Flashes of greatness do not make a classic movie. "The Monuments Men fails in its grand ambitions, but it's still satisfying in bits and pieces, like a busted statue. Even a tribute made of shining fragments counts for something," says The Village Voice.
The LEGO Movie
The gist: The evil Lord Business uses his power in the LEGO universes to keep all the pieces in their respective sets until a hero comes forth to mess some stuff up. Why can't a castle have wings? PG
The cast: Chris Pratt, Elizabeth Banks, Will Ferrell, Will Arnett, Morgan Freeman, Charlie Day, Alison Brie, Liam Neeson, Nick Offerman, Channing Tatum, Jonah Hill
The buzz: Lots of winks and nods for the adult audience. "While the result is undoubtedly the single most product-centric film of all time, it's also just hip and irreverent enough to leave audiences feeling as though its makers managed to pull one over on the business guys," says Variety.
The Gist: Somewhere adjacent to the Twilight universe there exists a regular high school populated by vampires, their half-vampire protectors and vampire royalty. Attractive pale teen things happen from there. PG-13
The Cast: Zoey Deutch, Lucy Fry, Sarah Hyland, Danila Kozlovsky, Gabriel Byrne, Joely Richardson
The buzz: No reviews yet for this one, but the tagline, "They suck at school," draws a pretty complete picture of how seriously you should take this.
— Robbyn Mitchell firstname.lastname@example.org