I'm not sure what I want for Mother's Day – probably a Starbuck's gift card and lots of hugs and kisses from my two sons would be at the top of my list. But some public relations firms feel the need to pitch products or ideas that are totally weird. For example:
Run for cover
"There is one concept that crosses all borders, boundaries, cultures and nations — a mother's love,'' the pitch starts out nicely. "Through the years she's given you nourishment, support and encouragement. Show your gratitude by making this Mother's Day extra special with a gift that will last her a lifetime — the new Davek Traveler umbrella.''
If your husband gives you an umbrella Sunday, just hit him over the head with it. It's kind of like getting a vacuum cleaner — only not nearly as expensive or as useful.
Don't sweat it
This PR firm thinks you should spend Sunday talking with your daughter about a sensitive subject — chronic excessive sweating, or hyperhidrosis. "This Mother's Day the International Hyperhidrosis Society will launch 'Take 10 for 10' (to encourage) moms to take just 10 minutes out of their holiday to conduct a 10-question assessment with their daughters to discern if the child may, in fact, have clinical hyperhidrosis . . .''
Yes, we know it's a serious subject. Yes, we know it afflicts someone. But do you really want to bond with your daughter over sweat?
Hand it to her
Offering plastic surgery for gifts is nothing new — on Valentine's Day, the media was inundated with pitches to get your beloved a little Botox. But here's a new spin: "The age old adage that . . . you can tell a woman's age by her hands . . . doesn't have to be the case any longer," says one plastic surgeon who offers up the Total Hand Rejuvenation treatment. Maybe this is a good idea — for a hand model. How about using that money to buy your mom something she really needs — like an umbrella?
Be a survivor
This next gift idea is for the mom who works outside the home. But she might not want to be reminded of that Sunday: "Ms. & Mrs. Working Girl's Survival Guide — Contents include everything a mom needs to 'survive' her work day: Toothbrush, Toothpaste, Dental Floss, Mints, Pain Reliever, Emery Board, Clear Nail Polish, Nail Polish Remover, Nail Clipper, Hand Lotion, Facial Tissues, Deodorant, Tampons, Adhesive Bandages, Folding Hair Brush, Interior Mirror, Lint Remover, Mending Kit, Shoe Shine Wipes, Stain Remover, Static Guard®, and Lip Balm.'' I wonder if it also includes a hammer to smash the glass ceiling.
Most of the moms I know would love to hear from a celebrity on their special day. I'm not sure that Whoopi Goldberg, Lily Tomlin or Liz Smith would be at the top of their lists. But these three ladies are sending out Mother's Day greetings in free video E-cards from wowOwow.com, a Web site created, owned, and written by women for women. Next time, really "wow'' me by letting George Clooney, Denzel Washington or Johnny Depp send the greetings.
Sherry Robinson can be reached at (727)893-8305 or firstname.lastname@example.org.