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Caption contest results: Readers talk turkey

Devoted readers,

In this time of thanksgiving, we offer our gratitude to the nearly 1,000 of you who dropped your cereal spoons and, in tiny fits of creative brilliance, responded to Don Morris' Thanksgiving beach scene with captions implying inter-species coupling, political turkeys and breast fixation. You made us laugh. Strangely, you made us hungry.

We recruited Rich Brown of Tampa as our Celebrity Guest Judge. He was an October finalist in the New Yorker magazine caption contest, which makes him qualified enough for us.

Brown, a psychologist, chose the winners from a list of finalists provided by the Times. "I enjoy how other people's brains work," he said, "although some of these people ought to consider therapy."

First place

"Sorry, Tom. Florida voted for Amendment 2."

Anna Tripodis, Clearwater

Our winner entered on a bet with her husband. They were supposed to compete, but he couldn't think of an entry. So she wins a hot-off-the-presses copy of O Christmas Treats, a compilation of reader-submitted cookie recipes. He owes her dinner. For details on how to get your own copy of the cookie book, see Page 6E.

Second place

"You do realize, of course, that I'm not free range."

James Lashbrook, Largo

Third place

''If this is because of Tom, I can end it immediately.''

Terry Shanholtzer, Largo

Honorable mentions

"Is that a fork in your pocket?"

Dave Allen, Safety Harbor

"If you do the bike and I do the run, who's gonna swim?"

Mike Dunlap, Dunedin

"And I thought MY wattle was big!"

Jessie Zebley, Clearwater


"Don't get me wrong, Hank. I appreciate the thought you put into it, I'm just finding it difficult to fully dig the metaphorical inference."

Ken Talbot, Seminole

''Cheer up, Scooter. It won't be long now until he pardons you, too.''

M. Ellis, St. Petersburg

"Where are my legs!!??"

EC Holt, New Port Richey

''I guess I can't run for vice president, because I can't see Russia from Clearwater Beach.''

Judith Tobin, Clearwater

''Nothing personal, but with my 401(k), I'm afraid I'm going to have to ask for your wishbone.''

Tom Takach, St. Petersburg

"Well, we made it through eight years, eh, Dick?"

Beverly Voreis, Clearwater

''Next year I'm getting a frozen bird — no more bonding.''

M.J. McGuiness, Belleair Beach

''I won a free trip to Florida by sending in the most Stove Top stuffing box tops 83 of them.''

Joseph R. Bunch, Pinellas Park

''And remember, once you enter the witness protection program you will no longer be able to contact your family and friends. You will no longer be Tom Turkey, but will now be known as Ed Featherfield, a used car salesman from Wichita, Kan."

Judy Prine, New Port Richey

Turkey: "How far did you say I have to swim?"

Man: "Just tread water 'til Friday, I'll pick you up then."

Patrice Hook, Spring Hill

As the sun set on another Thanksgiving, Fred knew his love of turkey had gone too far.

Tim Winans, Tampa

"Don't give me that 'Everybody's doing it' line!"

Robert Shadowens, Riverview

"Didn't I mention in my personal ad that I was a fancy dresser?"

Linda Sullivan, Clearwater

''The Great Turkey Book tells us that He has a plan for each of us. I know it's blasphemous, but I really don't like my plan.''

Chris Nielsen, Palm Harbor

''Evolution's a funny thing. A few mutations the other way and I'd be wearing those rockin' overalls.''

Chris Nielsen, Palm Harbor

''I know I need to let it go, but it really bothers me that you have five toes.''

Chris Nielsen, Palm Harbor

Although their marriage of 22 years was strong and enduring, Gladys brought Harold to the beach every Thanksgiving season, far away from the farm and Harold's trusty 20 gauge.

Bill Geffert, Clearwater

Randy was just like all of the other turkeys, but during this dangerous time of year he liked to show off and see how close he could get to his friends without being discovered in his latest disguise.

Bill Geffert, Clearwater

Caption contest results: Readers talk turkey 11/22/08 [Last modified: Monday, November 24, 2008 7:00am]
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