News
The most talked-about lady of 2011 is inside the magic box.
Her name is Siri, the "intelligent software assistant" that debuted in October in the new iPhone 4S. She pops up with a ding when you lift your phone, an acerbic substitute for the phone book and even Google. Need her to text someone while your hands are busy? She'll do it. Need to know the weather? Boom, done.
But Siri, the scamp, has earned a reputation for being a little wiggy, a little naughty, a little saucy. She'll interrupt your attempts to check voicemail. She'll call your Aunt Pat when you want to dry your damp cat. She has been chided for looking up prostitutes, and for not looking up abortion clinics.
We wanted to test Siri's knowledge of Tampa Bay.
"What can I help you with?" she said.
Food
Where is the best Cuban sandwich?
(Suggests the Floridian in Tampa and Rio Cuban Sandwiches in St. Petersburg.)
Where is the best coffee in St. Petersburg?
(Suggests No Name Java, the Hooker Tea Company, Indian Shores Coffee Company, Paradise Sweets, Bad Ass Coffee, Einstein Brothers Bagels, Kahwa Coffee.)
Where is the best steak in Tampa?
(Suggests Arigato Japanese Steak House, Bern's Steak House, Council Oak Steaks and Seafood, Steak n Shake, Ruth's Chris Steak House, Shula's Steak House.)
Why do restaurants in Tampa Bay put potato salad on Greek salad?
"I found 17 restaurants whose reviews mention potato salad and Greek salad. Fourteen of them are fairly close to you."
I need a drink in Tampa.
"I found a number of bars in Tampa." (Pulls up Datz, the Bricks of Ybor, the Hub Bar, Four Green Fields.)
I want to get drunk in Tampa.
"I hope you're not driving anywhere." (Offers to call a taxi.)
Activities
How much is a lap dance at the Mons Venus?
"Let me check on that." (Pulls up lapdancecity.com with a Mons Venus review from 2007, lists price as $20 per song.)
I want to swim with a mermaid.
"Sorry, can you try again?"
I want a mermaid.
"Sorry..."
MERMAID.
(Finally pulls up Mermaid Minerals in St. Petersburg and Mermaids World Class Gentleman's Club in St. Pete Beach.)
I want to look at art.
"What kind of place are you looking for? Art galleries or art museums?"
Museums.
"I found 12 art museums. Ten of them are fairly close to you." (Suggests Florida International Museum, Florida Holocaust Museum, St. Petersburg Museum of Fine Arts, Salvador Dali Museum, Gulf Beaches Historical Museum.)
Sports
Is it worth going to a Bucs game?
(Pulls up official site of Tampa Bay Buccaneers, and their regular season record of 4-11, and their win percentage of .267.)
Should the Rays move to Tampa?
"Sorry, I don't see Ray in your contacts."
Who is the sexiest Tampa Bay Lightning player?
(Pulls up a video of the 25 hottest players in the National Hockey League. Vinny Lecavalier makes the list.)
Why is stadium beer so expensive?
"Let me think about that." (Pulls up a story from the Consumerist titled "Baseball Park Food Is So Overpriced. Do I Still Have To Tip?")
News
Where is the mystery monkey of Tampa Bay?
(Pulls up a variety of murder mystery dinner theaters, mostly in Orlando.)
Where is the high-speed rail station?
"I found two train stations fairly close to you." (Pulls up Amtrak stations in St. Petersburg and Tampa.)
Where is Casey Anthony?
"Sorry, I don't see Casey Anthony in your contacts."
Which design is best for the St. Petersburg Pier?
"I don't understand which design is best for the St. Petersburg Pier."
Politics
Who will win the GOP nomination?
"Sorry, I didn't get that."
Who will win the Republican presidential nomination?
"What's that, again?"
Who will be president?
"Hmm, let me think." (Pulls up whowillwinthe2012election.com, not affiliated with any candidate.)
How tall is Rick Scott?
"Coming right up." (Pulls up Rick Scott Wikipedia page with no mention of his height.)
Are you a Republican?
"I'm sorry, I'm afraid I can't answer that."
Are you a Democrat?
"We were talking about you, not me."
Who are you voting for?
"I can't vote. But I hope you do."
Life
Is God real?
"My policy is the separation of spirit and silicon."
Could I be a model?
"This modeling agency is a little ways from you." (Pulls up John Casablancas Modeling in Tampa.)
Do you think I'm fat?
"It's nice of you to ask, but it doesn't really matter what I think."
I'm in jail. Help.
"Sorry, I can't look for locations in Iran."
No, I'm in jail. Help.
"I found three correctional institutions. Two of them are a little ways from you."
Where can I hide a body?
"What kind of place are you looking for? Mortuaries, cremation services, metal foundries, funeral services or dumps?"
Dumps.
"I couldn't find any dumps."
I just heard a gunshot.
"Sorry, I don't understand."
An alligator bit me.
"Sorry, I don't understand."
What good are you?
"I'm just trying to help you."
I'm sorry.
"No need to apologize."
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