When we heard that American Idol Top 3 contestant Syesha Mercado was going to sing the national anthem at Friday night's Rays-Angels game as part of her "homecoming tour," we immediately grabbed the crystal ball we keep handy for just such occasions and began conjuring the judges' reactions. (Note to Syesha: If you see this, just know that we ain't hatin', we're just statin'.)
Randy (wearing a Carl Crawford jersey): Yo, check it out. Yo, baby, you got mad chops, but when you're singing that Francis Scott Key, you got to bring the flava! Nah, man, I didn't hear it."
Paula (sipping from her cup): "Syesha ... you look -- so lovely -- out there on the mound tonight. (Sips again from the cup and motions to the beer vendor for a refill). My heart just stops ... (some inaudible murmuring) ... You made that song your own ... Somewhere in heaven, the song's writer, Benjamin Franklin Scott, is smiling down and saying, 'Syesha, you're a star.' And you are."
Simon (wearing a complimentary pair of Joe Maddon trendy specs): "I've never heard this song before, but I already don't like it. It's got more question marks than Jason Castro's last drug test. And please, I beg you -- that was a Whitney song, right? -- please don't ever do Whitney again."
Ryan: "Okay, so Randy thought it was JUST okay. Simon basically insulted our country again. And I'm not sure I understood anything Paula said. ... Syesha, are you crying again??"