It might be hard for thinking people to stomach the plot of Sex and the City 2.
Camels? Abu Dhabi? Carrie randomly runs into Aidan? Really? What is this, Road to Morocco with Dorothy Lamour?
But whatevs. The point is not to believe sincerely that four wealthy women would dare haul their luggage bareback on an Arabian desert beast. The point is … Shoe porn! Clothes! Sparkles! Pretty!
SATC follows in the fine tradition of movies, good and bad, where fashion is the main event. Here are our top five fashionable films — none of which, incidentally, involve camels.
1. THE DEVIL WEARS PRADA (2006) Any movie based on the politics of Vogue is going to assault our eyes with awesome. Patricia Field, the brain behind Sex and the City's fashion, styled this movie. Anne Hathaway morphs from dowdy journalism nerd in a faded sweater to a bona fide couture snob. She rocks a Chanel prep school jacket and logo pearls, a vintage green coat with leopard cuffs, a Bill Blass suit and a cocktail dress by, who else? Prada.
Fave line: "You go to your closet and you select out, oh I don't know, that lumpy blue sweater, for instance, because you're trying to tell the world that you take yourself too seriously to care about what you put on your back. But what you don't know is that sweater is not just blue, it's not turquoise, it's not lapis, it's actually cerulean. You're also blithely unaware of the fact that in 2002, Oscar De La Renta did a collection of cerulean gowns." — Miranda Priestly
2. TROOP BEVERLY HILLS (1989) Because we can! Because we can! You might groan and throw scrambled eggs at the newspaper. But not the Deal Divas! Troop Beverly Hills was our fondest childhood romp into ridiculous fashion. Shelley Long wears a white fur coat to the Girl Scout campgrounds! She lines her uniform with emerald satin! She wears a sequined bird on her shoulder! Tell us that's not worthy of a top five list.
Fave line: "Her recommendations for a campsite were totally unsuitable. There were no outlets. And there was dirt, and bugs, and … and it rains there. So anyway, we've found a place that's much more us: the Beverly Hills Hotel." — Phyllis Nefler
3. REAR WINDOW (1954) This movie, though awesome, starts unfashionably with crusty Jimmy Stewart in a wheelchair. Bah. But Grace Kelly saves the day, modeling mind-blowing outfits and accessories. Styled by the legendary Edith Head, Kelly is effortlessly elegant in a runway of Christian Dior dresses, from poofy and belted to sleek and narrow and backless. The showstopper? A massive pearl charm bracelet that steals focus from anyone in the shot.
Fave line: "A woman never goes anywhere but the hospital without packing makeup, clothes, and jewelry." — Lisa Carol Fremont
4. FACTORY GIRL (2006) If you're laid up with the flu, search the on-demand cable channels. You're bound to come across this blight of cinema that tells the story of Edie Sedgwick and Andy Warhol. It's hard to watch Factory Girl if not for the glorious outfits. Sienna Miller, who plays Sedgwick, sports amazing mini-dresses, opaque tights, huge earrings, geometric prints and fake eyelashes out the wazoo. It's enough to make your nose stop running.
Fave line: "My credit's no good at Bonwit Teller and I just stole $30 worth of underwear at Bergdorf's and I think I might do it again." — Edie Sedgwick
5. CLUELESS (1995) The gold standard. This movie inspired legions of young girls to run out and buy plaid miniskirts and knee-high tights and Mary Janes. Near the end of the dirty grunge era of flannel, the Clueless girls were unafraid to be blatantly feminine. Who can forget Cher's Jazzercise outfit? Her angora sweaters? And you have to admire a girl who tells a gun-wielding robber she can't get on the ground because it might ruin her Azzedine Alaia.
Fave line: "So, this flannel thing. Is that a nod to the crispy Seattle weather, or are you just trying to stay warm in front of the refrigerator?" — Cher Horowitz