Friday, November 24, 2017
Parenting & Relationships

Tell Me About It: ‘Aloof’ neighbor has every reason to be

RECOMMENDED READING


‘Aloof’ neighbor has every reason to be

Q: I’m wondering how to make amends with a neighbor who’s aloof and distant. She moved in four years ago. Soon afterward there was a misunderstanding about my friend parking in front of her driveway and she was unnecessarily harsh about it. My husband went over to tell her off, but it didn’t go well. He ended up reporting her big vicious dog to a friend in animal control. Animal control reported back that she and the dog were both ex-military and the dog was trained and under control so no lasting trouble came of it. After that most of the neighbors avoided her.

Eventually it all blew over since she is quiet, keeps her house in good shape and even takes care of the elderly woman next door. But somehow we never really started speaking again.

I have invited her to the neighborhood Christmas party, but she never shows up.

We’re a close-knit, supportive group on this street but she’s missing out. I want to fix this but don’t know how. What can I try that I haven’t already done?

Trying to Befriend My Neighbor

A: Oh you’ve done plenty.

You made her the bad guy when your friend blocked her driveway, yes? You sicced your temper-challenged spouse on her, who then reported her dog as "vicious" with zero facts; you turned the entire neighborhood against her; you made no attempts to apologize even as four years of accrued evidence of her fundamental decency towered over her original offense of being "unnecessarily harsh"; you had the high nerve to describe her as "aloof and distant" and "missing out" on your "close-knit, supportive" neighborhood when her being thus traces directly to the self-righteous shunning you subjected her to.

The answer was to drop by four years ago, to apologize and to invite her over for a pleased-to-meet-you do-over.

Now, the answer is genuine remorse. And pumpkin bread. Bake some and leave it for her with a note apologizing, in full, for the shocking chain of un-neighborly events that you set in motion.

Comments
5 things to do under $5 Nov. 23-30: Craft festival, License-Free Saltwater Fishing Day, Snow Bash

5 things to do under $5 Nov. 23-30: Craft festival, License-Free Saltwater Fishing Day, Snow Bash

1. Gem, Jewelry and Bead Show and Sale: Check out these rocks when more than 50 dealers from around the United States sell crystals, minerals, beads, gems and jewelry. $5. Coliseum, 535 Fourth Ave. N, St. Petersburg. 10 a.m. to 5 p.m. Friday through ...
Published: 11/22/17
Updated: 11/23/17
Top things to do this weekend: Lindsey Stirling, Faizon Love, Daniel Tiger’s Neighborhood Live

Top things to do this weekend: Lindsey Stirling, Faizon Love, Daniel Tiger’s Neighborhood Live

PULLING STRINGS: Lindsey StirlingDubstep violist Lindsey Stirling shot to fame as a quarter-finalist on America’s Got Talent in 2010 and she has been rocking the spangles on Dancing With the Stars this season as the last woman left . But on Friday yo...
Published: 11/22/17

Tell Me About It: Frequently-visiting sister needs to pitch in

Frequently visiting sister needs to pitch inQ: I live overseas with my husband and two boys. My sister visits often due to work travel and generous vacation benefits. Sounds great — especially as I have no other family member who can visit as often, ...
Published: 11/22/17
Black Friday deals at Legoland, SeaWorld, Disney and more

Black Friday deals at Legoland, SeaWorld, Disney and more

Black Friday isn’t just for stores. Many theme parks and attractions in Florida are also offering up deals that could make a nice gift or family splurge. The smaller the park, the bigger the deal, so Legoland, Gatorland and SeaWorld are toutin...
Published: 11/21/17
Updated: 11/23/17
Plan your weekend: Indie shopping, Lindsey Stirling, ice skating, Amy Grant and Michael W. Smith

Plan your weekend: Indie shopping, Lindsey Stirling, ice skating, Amy Grant and Michael W. Smith

Shopping Black Friday: Avoid the madness of the malls at a variety of indie shopping experiences this weekend. Skatepark of Tampa has one of the best sneaker selections in Tampa Bay and free skating all day Friday to celebrate. They’ll open at...
Published: 11/21/17
Updated: 11/22/17
Mark your calendars: Here are the top holiday concerts, ‘Nutcracker’ shows and parades

Mark your calendars: Here are the top holiday concerts, ‘Nutcracker’ shows and parades

Get out your calendar, set aside the time and get tickets to see the top holiday shows and parties coming this season. Here are our editor’s picks for the holidays:CONCERTS98 Degrees The turn-of-the-millennium boy band brings their new holiday tour p...
Published: 11/21/17
Updated: 11/22/17
Here's where to see Christmas lights in Tampa Bay

Here's where to see Christmas lights in Tampa Bay

Once the Thanksgiving leftovers are put away, you can stop grumbling about it being too early for Christmas lights and decorations. Let the grand illuminations begin! Despite our tropical climate, or maybe because of it, Tampa Bay goes all out when ...
Published: 11/21/17

Tell Me About It: Sister’s partner is a textbook abuser

Sister’s partner is a textbook abuserQ: My sister stays home with her two small children (2 and 1) while her partner works. Recently, during a fight, he took all of their money and left. He has since returned and they have patched things up for now. ...
Published: 11/21/17
Disney-Pixar’s ‘Coco’ has a Dia de los Muertos theme and is, well, lifeless

Disney-Pixar’s ‘Coco’ has a Dia de los Muertos theme and is, well, lifeless

Disney-Pixar’s Coco was more enjoyable three years ago when it was titled The Book of Life and came from Twentieth Century Fox.Both animated features spring from Mexico’s Dia de los Muertos celebration, the annual "day of the dead" when departed rela...
Updated: 5 hours ago

Tell Me About It: Couple considers living on one income

Couple considers living on one incomeQ: My husband and I, both unhappy in our jobs, have determined that with some strategic penny-pinching, we can live on one salary for a while. The question now is, whose salary?The argument for my husband quitting...
Published: 11/20/17