Monday, July 23, 2018
Parenting & Relationships

Tell Me About It: Former friend slanders her for dating ex

Q: About 20 years ago, my husband and I befriended this other couple. We saw each other’s kids grow up, and spent time staying at each other’s homes on visits.

The husbands had a falling out seven years ago and we all stopped speaking. She particularly shunned me after their argument, which had nothing to do with me or her.

Fast forward to when I was divorced for one year and they were separated and in divorce proceedings. He and I reconnected and started dating, and we have fallen in love. While we never even flirted while we were all married, we always got along. I have never been happier in my life. It was all above board, no shenanigans.

He is now divorced and upon finding out about us, she has had a major meltdown. She is furious and accused us of having an affair.

I feel horrible, but she and I have not been in contact for several years. Did I violate some girlfriend code? She is calling all their friends and calling him a cheater and me a hussy.

No Shenanigans

A: What is there to feel horrible about?

If it’s just that someone you (used to) care about is in pain, then I can see that. Of course.

But in the story you tell, you’re rivals only of her making; you had no falling out with her seven years ago, and no role in breaking a marriage already broken.

And she’s the one using her current misery, apparently, as an excuse to behave miserably toward you for a second time this decade.

So even if I believed in a code, which I don’t, there’d be no violation of it here besides hers. She only embarrasses herself with her venom.

She also gives you and her ex more reason to feel joy and relief in your future by shedding new darkness on the past. Just don’t get carried away, since they’re still joined by their kids.

She’s inviting you to war. It’s up to you not to accept.

Comments

Tell Me About It: Finding the words help Dad cope with pain

Q: My father recently suffered some irreparable damage to his eye as a symptom of the aging process coupled with diabetes; he’s 75 and in fairly good health otherwise. He has had 20/20 vision until this incident, and is now very bummed and irritated ...
Published: 07/22/18
In the few weeks before school starts, experts offer tips on getting ready mentally and physically

In the few weeks before school starts, experts offer tips on getting ready mentally and physically

By the second week of August, public schools will be back in session across the Tampa Bay area. That may seem far off, but sleep experts say now is when parents need to start easing the kids (and themselves) into those early wakeup routines. The foll...
Published: 07/20/18
Goodwill donations in August get BOGO tickets to Dinosaur World

Goodwill donations in August get BOGO tickets to Dinosaur World

If you are ready to rid of items you’ve had around your house since the Jurassic period, you can get free tickets for children to Dinosaur World by donating to Goodwill Industries beginning Aug. 1. Goodwill shoppers who round up their purchases to th...
Updated: 1 hour ago
Deep-fried wonders at Plant City Strawberry Festival to be featured on Cooking Channel

Deep-fried wonders at Plant City Strawberry Festival to be featured on Cooking Channel

The strawberry-laden and deep-fried wonders of Plant City’s Florida Strawberry Festival will be featured on two episodes of the TV series Carnival Eats, the first on July 29.The Cooking Channel series features host Noah Cappe as he marvels at the "ga...
Published: 07/19/18

Tell Me About It: Family put off by another big wedding

Q: I’m engaged to a wonderful man, "Jim," and we’re planning our wedding. We just booked a gorgeous inn and I am going to wear a stunning full-length white dress. We’ll also be having a sit-down dinner with band and dancing for the reception.I’m in m...
Published: 07/18/18
First look (with video): Universal’s new high-tech fountain shows ends the night at the theme park

First look (with video): Universal’s new high-tech fountain shows ends the night at the theme park

Visitors to Universal Studios in Orlando on Monday night got to witness the premiere of the new high-tech, dancing-fountain, cinematic show to end the day in the park in what the show’s creator called "a kiss goodnight." It’s full of ima...
Published: 07/17/18

Tell Me About It: Stepmom expects gift will become an issue

Q: My husband’s daughter just announced she and her boyfriend are getting married, and we are very happy for them. They are planning a wedding that we consider over the top. The cost will likely exceed her annual salary.My husband has been blunt abou...
Published: 07/17/18

Tell Me About It: The grieving process differs for everyone

Q: My parents died in an accident a year and a half ago. I grieve for them every day and still find it difficult to talk about them without tears. I see a grief counselor and have been screened by my doctor for depression, and both said what I was fe...
Published: 07/16/18

Tell Me About It: Wife’s beefs with family are indefensible

Q: My wife occasionally picks fights with members of my family of origin, especially my sister. What am I supposed to do about that? The general guidance is that protecting my spouse from my family of origin is my responsibility, but it was my wife t...
Published: 07/15/18
Rascal Flatts’ Jay DeMarcus talks longevity, the road and picking the perfect opener

Rascal Flatts’ Jay DeMarcus talks longevity, the road and picking the perfect opener

There was a time, believe it or not, when Rascal Flatts was considered cutting-edge country. Okay, "cutting-edge" might be pushing it — the trio’s wholesome, harmony-laden style was never all that controversial. Still, when you survey the pop- and R&...
Published: 07/13/18
Updated: 07/18/18