Wednesday, May 23, 2018
Parenting & Relationships

Tell Me About It: Leave regretful ex’s feelings in the past

Leave regretful ex’s feelings in the past

Q: What am I supposed to do about an ex who regrets calling off our wedding? It was a few years ago, and I married someone else and we have a family. My ex never married and is still single.

As with every communication I get from a regretful ex or an ex who wants to "just talk," I chalk it up to loneliness and/or boredom, i.e., nothing to do with me personally. Ignore, right?

Anonymous

A: No chalking up necessary, with this or any ex, because what any of them feels is no longer relevant to you.

Maybe an ex or two really did miss out or really does think you’re awesome — but, you know what? Not relevant.

So, of course you can choose not to respond to an ex who pops up with an email or text or call out of the blue. If you’re forced to respond by circumstance — say, you run into each other at a party or something — then just say it’s in the past and you are not interested in revisiting it, then excuse yourself for a bathroom run/drink refresher.

Couple weighs the decision to have kids

Q: My husband and I want to have kids soon. The problem is that my job is grant-funded from year to year, so it’s unclear what my situation will be next year at this time. My husband is considering joining the military as an attorney. We wouldn’t have a definitive answer until about nine months from now. Then, if he’s accepted, we’d likely have to move and I’d need to find another job.

Everyone keeps telling me there is never a perfect time to have a baby, so part of me thinks we should go for it and part of me thinks that would be financially irresponsible. Any thoughts?

Right Time?

A: There is never a perfect time to have a baby.

There are responsible and irresponsible ones, though. So: Are you saving money? Can you adjust your circumstances and lifestyle to get by on one salary, just in case? With a baby?

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