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Forget having a future with girlfriend who faked pregnancy

Adapted from recent online discussions.

Forget having a future with girlfriend who faked pregnancy

Georgia: My girlfriend elaborately faked pregnancy to get me to reconsider breaking up with her. Now that I know the truth it seems like a no-brainer, but I do love her, and in making plans for a (fake) future, I started to look forward to spending it with her. What do I do?

Carolyn: Would you want this duplicitous wreck of a person to be your kids' mother? What will she pull on them when they don't turn out exactly the way she wants them to?

What you do now is realize that you fell in love with an imagined future, the one you conjured when you needed a happy ending really badly. The real future with someone who could pull a stunt like hers would not be pretty. You know this, it's why you're writing in. Trust it, please, and get out while the pregnancy is still just a fake one.

Mom disapproved of boyfriend, so relationship is over

Washington: I've been dating this girl for almost two years. It's a great relationship and I love her a lot. The problem is her mother can't stand me. After three meetings, she has decided that I'm not up to her daughter's standards. She says negative things about me, yet she has never even taken the chance to get to know me.

My girlfriend couldn't stand to see her mother so unhappy and feared their relationship would suffer. As a result, a few months ago my girlfriend left me and moved back in with her mother.

We still speak, and I'm not ready to give up on us. I have tried countless times, to no avail, to contact her mother in hopes that we can talk things out. Her mother has these perceptions of me that she won't let go of. Other members of my girlfriend's family, her father included, don't have any problems with me at all. My girlfriend has told me that if it were only the two of us that she would marry me. How can I solve this issue? Do I keep trying or do I give up? I'm in it to win it.

Carolyn: Ick. Your parting shot alone is reason to drop it. This isn't a competition with her mother, and if you do see it that way then you're no different from the mother in using "this girl" as your pawn.

But if we set that aside as, I don't know, a strangely coherent typo, then you still have the fact that your ex-girlfriend is so emotionally under-formed that her mother's wishes take precedence over her own.

That says your relationship isn't going anywhere, even if the mother thinks you're a cross between Abraham Lincoln and Santa Claus, at least not until/unless your girlfriend comes into her own. The best chance that will happen is if neither you nor the mother is on the scene.

In the meantime, you can use this period of girlfriendlessness to figure out what you're really "in it" for. If you're looking to get this girl back for any reason other than the unique pleasure of her companionship, then it's not fair to either of you to pursue it.

Forget having a future with girlfriend who faked pregnancy 05/04/09 [Last modified: Monday, May 4, 2009 5:19pm]
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