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Tell Me About It: Asking about baby's presence should lead to straight answers

Asking about baby's presence should lead to straight answers

Q: As the first in our immediate group to have a baby, I'm left wondering about proper protocol on when to bring him along. I've tried to just guess and been wrong about preferences in every way. I often email and ask, but is there a better way to handle it?

First Friend with Baby

A: "Should I bring the baby, or call a sitter?" That suggests you're fine with either option, where, "Okay if I bring the baby?" sounds like a preference and might come across as pressure.

You might be misunderstood from time-to-time, or told what people think you want to hear versus the truth, but if overall you're respectful of hosts'/organizers' wishes, you'll get a straight answer.

Enjoy each other's company to placate brother's decisions

Q: My husband doesn't know yet, but he's not invited to my brother's bachelor party. I think it's hurtful, but my brother is, in general, not a kind person, so it wasn't really a surprise. My brother was invited, and did attend, my husband's bachelor party, and he was even in our wedding party. I was not invited to be in his. Any thoughts/advice on how to break the news to my husband?

Not Invited to Bachelor Party

A: Exclusion stings at any age, I get it, and the first peek behind a facade you thought was a family can be agony. As such, I expect this will hurt you more than it does your husband.

Frame it accordingly: "Well, Pookie, it's a sweep — I'm not in Brother's wedding and apparently you're out of the bachelor party. In retrospect, I should have seen it coming. I'm sorry.

"What do you say — a nice dinner out tonight?"

Tell Me About It: Asking about baby's presence should lead to straight answers

06/03/14 [Last modified: Monday, June 2, 2014 5:43pm]

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