Thursday, April 26, 2018
Parenting & Relationships

Tell Me About It: Best friends or not, she should pay until lease ends

Q: Two years ago, my closest childhood friend, "Abby," asked if we could live together. It has not gone well, but I've kept most of my grievances internal to preserve our deep friendship.

Now, my boyfriend of three years has asked me to live with him and I cannot wait. His lease is up a couple of months before mine, but Abby is insisting I live out my last months on our lease.

Paying two rents seems insane. It would make me happier to move in with Mark when we sign our lease, but I may have insensitive love-blinders on. Am I the crazy one for asking that she accept my offer to find a sublet for the last few months of our lease? I've already found a mutual friend to take over my room in August when our lease is renewed.

Sad Samantha

A: You're breaking the agreement early, so you pay until the lease ends.

This is basic fairness and the whole point of a lease. All the friendship stuff not only clutters up these simple facts, but also better serves as an argument for paying up. You're looking at her childhood-friendly attachment to you as a reason she should let you off this hook, but any time you want to use a friendship to argue a point, you'd best be ready to have the friendship used to argue against you, too. So let's do that: She's your childhood bestie, and you're ready to stick her with a sublet because you're annoyed at how much your choices will otherwise cost you? Brr.

Out of friendship to you, Abby owes you serious consideration of your offer to find her a temporary roommate. However, she isn't obliged to accept it. Since you valued this friendship enough to absorb your grievances, why not finish the job? Make the most gracious gesture possible on your way out: Honor the commitment you made.

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