venting may signal chronic problem in relationship
Q: How much venting among women about boyfriends/husbands is normal? I'm female, and between family members and girlfriends, it makes me think there is real value in staying single.
A: The occasional consult is healthy, but constant "venting" suggests a chronic ailment in a relationship.
It may not spell doom, but it does mean it's time for the venter to accept: (1) This is a problem; (2) The status quo obviously won't solve it … (3) Nor will complaining about it to my friends, and (4) I've asked my partner endlessly for changes that clearly aren't coming, so (5) It's time to think of some productive way for me to put it to rest already, because (6) I am boring the guts out of every friend who loves me enough to have listened this long.
Be sure of facts before warning friend about her boyfriend
Q: I have a very dear friend who has been dating a guy for a year. While this guy is very nice to her and (from what I can see) is a devoted boyfriend, I have found out that he has told her and others substantial lies about his background. Should I say anything to our friend? She is successful, and we don't want her taken advantage of. That said, she appears to be happy, and I would not want to do anything to stop that. I think you see the quandary.
A: Are you SURE he's lying, or are you just unable to confirm? If it's the former, I'd want to know. Would she? If you don't know that, ask the next best question: Would you?
He might not be taking advantage so much as padding his resume in a misguided attempt to improve his stock.