Sunday, July 15, 2018
Parenting & Relationships

Tell Me About It: Couple has the wrong idea about weddings

Couple has the wrong idea about weddings

Q: My wife and I were married a year ago. We were slightly surprised at the number of guests who never sent a wedding gift, around 10 percent of those who attended.

We now have a conundrum, because one of the guests has gotten engaged to his plus-one. We are certain to be invited to that wedding. How should we handle the gift question?

C.

A: By renouncing, now and forever, any and all forms of bean-counting. Please.

You got married, yay for you! You had a wedding, yay for you! People you care about showed up to your wedding to let you know they care about you, too!

That attitude isn't just good for your soul; it's also more polite. A wedding invitation is not a dunning notice for a gift. A gift is given freely by your guests as a gesture of celebration, and so technically not required. A good move, yes, but required, no.

So for the soon-to-be bride and groom, think soul, not quid pro quo. Buy a gift if you feel so moved. Write a thoughtful card regardless.

Finding the right fit with a therapist is key

Q: After talking myself out of it for many years, I recently met with a therapist a few times. Unfortunately, I picked someone who spent our sessions talking about her own life.

I know I need to find a different professional. As someone who struggles to speak up when I'm uncomfortable, though, I'm dreading the process. Would it be weird to interview future therapists before making an appointment?

I Know More About My Therapist Than She Knows About Me

A: Yes, interview the therapists first, or request the first appointment as an interview. If you have a job that offers an EAP, you can use the free initial appointments as a tryout.

You can also ask this therapist to recommend another.

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