Tuesday, August 14, 2018
Parenting & Relationships

Tell Me About It: Dad's brain injury affects the entire family

Q: About two years ago my husband was in a bad accident, no fault of his own, and while his physical injuries have mostly healed, he suffered a head injury and his personality has changed. He was once so even-keeled and sweet, and now he's volatile and moody. He's never been violent or abusive, but he sulks, withdraws and snaps quickly. He'll give me and our two elementary-school-age kids the silent treatment over the most minor incidents.

He's knows he's different and he's trying hard (with therapy) to get back to what he was, but honestly I don't know. One year I could take, but it's not good for the kids, we are all stressed, and he may never get back.

Financially I could leave without a lot of problems. I don't want to leave my old husband, but I don't think I would have married this one. My kids miss their old father as well, but are so tentative around him now.

I know it hurts him too; he doesn't want to be like this. Help?

Recovering But Not Recovered

A: I'm sorry you're all going through this. It's heartbreaking.

Now that the understanding of the effects of traumatic brain injury (TBI) has advanced so much in recent years, there has been a needed expansion in support offerings, including for families. If he's the only one getting professional help for this then you're leaving half of your options on the table. Find a reputable, local organization that works with TBI issues and call to see what kind of family support and counseling it offers.

Anonymous: The Department of Veterans Affairs knows a thing or two about traumatic brain injury and its effects on family. You're probably not military, but your local VA office may have referrals for trained therapists and counselors who are not part of the VA system.

Carolyn: Thanks. Mileage obviously varies, so getting the family some professional guidance is paramount.


Tell Me About It: Instead of monster or martyr, try ‘Mom’

Q: My sister-in-law, "Mary," has always been a mess. She has two kids with two different men who never see them, don’t pay child support, and she doesn’t work. Mary and her children lived with my mother-in-law, "Kate," until Kate moved into a 55-plus...
Published: 08/12/18

Tell Me About It: Introverted fiancee feels trapped by family

Q: My son and his fiancee bought a condo close to us, which then flooded. They moved in with us and repairs have taken longer than anticipated.His fiancee, "Laura," is an intense introvert. For that reason, I gave up my exercise, TV and craft room fo...
Published: 08/10/18

Tell Me About It: Check in constantly with depressed friend

Q: I have this friend who lives close but I haven’t seen in months. No one in our group of friends has seen her recently. Every time we make plans, she cancels, saying she is too sad or has been crying all day.I’m really worried. She moved here more ...
Published: 08/09/18

Tell Me About It: An occasional push helps to stay on track

Q: What responsibility does a wife have to push her husband to be a decent friend? For years, my husband was close with a few guys from grad school. As they got married and started families, the frequency of their get-togethers died down and the frie...
Published: 08/07/18

Tell Me About It: Grandma finds no one wants her heirlooms

Q: My mother-in-law has spent much of her life accumulating collectibles, heirlooms and furniture with the rationale that she will give them to her children and grandchildren someday. Her four grandchildren are still in high school. She’s decided tha...
Published: 08/07/18

Tell Me About It: Couple ponders rolling the dice on a baby

Q: I mostly want to have a baby; my fiance mostly does not. I’m in my late 30s and have school-age kids; he doesn’t have and never planned to have kids. Deciding to have or not to have a baby seems like too enormous a decision for mere mortals. It’s ...
Published: 08/06/18

Tell Me About It: Boyfriend takes affection to the next level

Q: My boyfriend is responsible, thoughtful, and very very affectionate — which is great for the first four hours of hand-holding, but which makes me want to shove him away and shout, "Just leave me alone!" by hour six. Before this, I thought I was a ...
Published: 08/05/18

Tell Me About It: Boyfriend won’t stand up to cruel brother

Q: I just spent the weekend in the company of my boyfriend’s brother, who mimicked/mocked me, belittled almost all my actions, and made fun of my chronic health condition. My boyfriend says this is just "’George’s’ sense of humor," and that I should ...
Updated one month ago
Top things to do in Tampa Bay for the week of Aug. 6-12

Top things to do in Tampa Bay for the week of Aug. 6-12

Janet Jackson: The pop icon will be in Control when she brings her State of the World tour to the MidFlorida Credit Union Amphitheatre in Tampa on Tuesday ($29.95-499.95). amphitheatretampa.com. Fetish Con: You’ll find even more half-dressed p...
Published: 08/02/18
Updated: 08/06/18
Plan your weekend Aug. 3-5: Tampa Bay Comic Con, Kevin Hart, Miranda Lambert, Warped Tour, tax-free weekend and more

Plan your weekend Aug. 3-5: Tampa Bay Comic Con, Kevin Hart, Miranda Lambert, Warped Tour, tax-free weekend and more

MusicConcerts of note: On Friday queen of country music Miranda Lambert and Little Big Town, the hit-making vocal machine bring a strong night of country’s best female artists at the MidFlorida Credit Union Amphitheatre in Tampa. $34.25 and up. Live...
Published: 08/02/18