Q: My husband loves to keep our house lit with high-wattage fluorescent lighting. I prefer natural light.
I'm okay with the kitchen, living room and office looking like a prison yard, but when it comes to the bedroom, I can't get a decent night's sleep unless it's dark. I say there are other places in the house to read, but there is only one place for me to sleep, so it should be lights out. He says it's his bedroom too, and the way he relaxes before bed is by reading in bed.
I've tried compromising by using a sleep mask, which is uncomfortable and doesn't really help with the whole relaxation thing. He's tried to compromise by cutting the lighting down from three bright bulbs to two and by shutting the lights off earlier, but it's still later than I need. A bedside reading lamp didn't help because it's still a bright light.
In our 10 years together, this is the only issue we've been unable to tackle! Can you think of anything we might have missed?
Compromise?
A: Well, from the way you've presented it, the only thing that's missing is a partner who's ready to stop being a jerk about getting his way all the time.
Keeping someone else awake with one's own bedtime ritual is just not okay, nor is it okay for the sole compromise to be from three bulbs to two. What about a clip-on book light? What about an e-reader with a dimmer? The fact that he's not concerned for your rest is disturbing, especially since his way has prevailed in every other room in the house. And since light is known to disturb sleep.
I'd be curious to read his take on this, because it's hard to see how someone would justify the position he's taking — and yet be agreeable on other issues.
If you're able to have different bedrooms, that might be the only solution that makes sense with the facts as presented, though that still doesn't address his inconsideration.