Tuesday, August 14, 2018
Parenting & Relationships

Tell Me About It: Once a gift's been given, it's their property

been given, it's their property

Q: When our grandson's girlfriend was pregnant, we told our grandson we would buy him a crib, dresser and chest. We let them both pick them out and spent about $1,200.00.

We told our grandson that if they broke up, the furniture must stay with him. They had a long history of breaking up and getting back together.

Six months after our great-granddaughter was born they broke up for the final time. She took the furniture with her.

He gets her three or four days a week while her mother works. His daughter sleeps in a portable crib. Should she have kept the furniture?

B.

A: Does my opinion matter? She has the crib. You're not going to extract it from her home, and I won't help you do it.

If it'll settle your mind, though, here's my opinion anyway: The strings you attached to the gift were inappropriate and inoperative from the start. Once they became owners of the furniture, your grandson and his girlfriend were free not only to decide who kept it, but also to sell it.

Couples' views differ on office friendships

Q: My husband and I have different views on what is an appropriate office relationship with someone of the opposite sex. One of us thinks that appropriate behavior is to be friendly in the office but otherwise keep it all business, the other thinks that it is okay to email one another (not business related) in the evenings, on weekends, and when traveling. I wondered what your thoughts are.

Anonymous

A: My main thought is that if you both felt good about your marriage, then you wouldn't worry about disagreeing on this.

So, instead of talking at each other about the non-business-related contact, a symptom, please talk to each other about what ails your marriage. Listen a lot, too. Good luck.

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