Sunday, May 20, 2018
Parenting & Relationships

Tell Me About It: Postpartum depression screening in order

Q: Had a baby two months ago. I'd never do anything to harm him or myself, and I do love him, but I hate being a mom. I stay at home with him after a decade as a high school teacher, a job I loved. I'm tired of getting up all night, of never having time to myself, of the house never being clean. Husband is helpful but doesn't understand how I feel like a failure. I get lots of support from my mom and mother-in-law (whose pushiness doesn't help). I get out for walks, errands, and I take the baby to all of these things. But overall, I'm not thrilled that my whole future is full of nothing but him. I don't think I'm depressed, as I can look at all this without passion. How do I learn to like my new role and "career"?

I Hate Being a Mom

A: Please get screened for postpartum depression. Just about every new parent feels desperate, because it's relentless, new and scary, and walking away is unthinkable. Desperation relapses are also common whenever Baby grows into a new stage.

Partly to blame is our culture's ridiculous expectation that at-home parents fit the way we live now — house-centric isolation — instead of requiring what families need and used to have: community.

Also to blame is just the nature of child-rearing. As kids learn and change, parents must learn and change with them, which is rewarding in retrospect but disorienting in the moment.

You have many possible lifelines. You can decide you'd be a better mom working than not; or accept you feel stymied and frustrated by babies but will get progressively better with toddlers, tweens, teens. Connect with other parents, through an organized group if needed. No fear, no shame.

But, again — doc first. It'll get better.

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Top things to do in Tampa Bay for the week of May 21-27.

Top things to do in Tampa Bay for the week of May 21-27.

American Baseball Championship: Teams from USF, Houston, East Carolina, UConn, UCF, Cincinnati, Tulane and Wichita State vie for the American Athletic Conference championship crown at Clearwater’s Spectrum Field Tuesday-Sunday. $8, $6 senior/military...
Published: 05/18/18
Updated: 05/19/18

Tell Me About It: The kids are welcome, but not the bedbugs

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Published: 05/17/18
Plan your weekend May 18-20: Royal wedding watch parties, David Koechner, Fiesta Maxima, half off Dali admission

Plan your weekend May 18-20: Royal wedding watch parties, David Koechner, Fiesta Maxima, half off Dali admission

What's happening this weekend in Tampa Bay.
Published: 05/16/18
Updated: 05/18/18
SeaWorld joins Busch Gardens in offering free beer this summer

SeaWorld joins Busch Gardens in offering free beer this summer

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Published: 05/16/18
What’s in theaters: ‘Deadpool 2,’ ‘Book Club,’ a Pope Francis documentary and STEM movies

What’s in theaters: ‘Deadpool 2,’ ‘Book Club,’ a Pope Francis documentary and STEM movies

CinemaSTEM: Best in ShowTampa Theatre is making science, technology, engineering and math the star of its new CinemaSTEM movie series. The historic movie house will pair popular films with experts talking about some of the science that pops up in the...
Published: 05/16/18
Top things to do this weekend: Royal wedding watch parties, comic David Koechner

Top things to do this weekend: Royal wedding watch parties, comic David Koechner

ROYAL WEDDING: Watch partiesPrince Harry marries Meghan Markle on Saturday; guess how excited we are to put on a fancy hat and drink champagne cocktails at 6 a.m.? With royal wedding excitement at a fever pitch, St. Petersburg’s Hawthorne Bottle Shop...
Published: 05/16/18
Top concert picks this week: Little Steven Van Zandt, Turnt Up Tour, Fiesta Maxima

Top concert picks this week: Little Steven Van Zandt, Turnt Up Tour, Fiesta Maxima

E STREET BYPASS: Little Steven and the Disciples of SoulAsk Little Steven Van Zandt to pick his favorite songwriter in rock — excluding his boss Bruce Springsteen, of course — and he has to think a minute. He admires veterans like Billie Joe Armstron...
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5 things to do under $5: Bike to Work Day, Woofstock, Leonard Bernstein celebration

5 things to do under $5: Bike to Work Day, Woofstock, Leonard Bernstein celebration

1Bike to Work Day: If you’re too nervous to face Tampa streets on your own, seven neighborhood meetup locations have been set up in South Tampa, Ybor and Tampa Heights for a Friday morning ride with experienced cyclists. Leaving at about 7:10 a.m., t...
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Kendrick Lamar and the Pulitzer Prize: Here’s why he’s the best songwriter alive

Kendrick Lamar and the Pulitzer Prize: Here’s why he’s the best songwriter alive

He won. He actually won. It’s still hard to believe a month later, still a mouthful of joy to say aloud: "Pulitzer Prize winner Kendrick Lamar." After three Album of the Year Grammy losses in five years, most recently to Bruno Mars in Februar...
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Tell Me About It: Sons guilt trip parents for refusing to move

Q: My husband and I, 68 and 61, were thrilled to become grandparents two years ago. We are enjoying our first years of carefully planned retirement in our home on the East Coast.The problem is our sons, who live in two of the most expensive real esta...
Published: 05/15/18