Wednesday, July 18, 2018
Parenting & Relationships

Tell Me About It: Readers advise on trust, accountability

While I'm away, readers give the advice.

On liberating through boundaries:

Sacramento: When I was 16 and driving, I asked my dad if I could go out with my buddy Jeff for the night. Jeff was a tough, strong-willed troublemaker, and I appeared strong but was secretly meek.

After I returned, Dad told me that it was up to me what I did, but if I asked in the future, he would give me a "no" to get out of it. I never did use it, but having that choice gave me confidence, and the comfort in Dad's trust. I offered the same to my kids at 16.

On having one shot at this whole life thing:

S.: I am a mental health provider, and I have this piece of advice for all those whose lives are not what they want theirs to be:

For the love of God, quit complaining and do something!

You can't afford to travel? Get a second job and start saving.

Don't like the family you were born into? Join a church or a club or an athletic team and create a family of like-minded friends.

Feel that you are stuck and life is passing you by? Make a list of priorities and take the first step toward making number one happen.

In a dead-end job? Train for a better one at the local community college.

No job at all? Volunteer, make crafts to sell, post offers to clean or do yardwork at the local grocers.

Depressed? Start eating better and walking a mile or two a day.

Not close to your family? Make the first move, call often, and build your side of the bridge.

Each of us is given a life, a brain, and a couple of decades to make a difference on this planet. No one else is responsible to bring happiness to us; it's each of our responsibility, and what we create out of our time on earth is up to us.

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