Tuesday, January 16, 2018
Parenting & Relationships

Tell Me About It: Readers offer advice on criticism, love and messy kids

While I'm away, readers give the advice.

On taking criticism (or weathering rudeness):

Some very effective responses to almost any confrontation (because they disarm):

"Oh?"; "I see"; "Glad you told me that"; "Really?"; "Never knew that"; "I'll have to think about that"; "That could be"; "Good luck"; "I can live with that"; "Sure." And, for an especially hostile one, "Would you mind repeating that?"

J.B.

On falling out of love with a life partner:

A piece of advice from the other side: Please, please, please tell him in the safety and confidence of a counselor's office that you feel like you have fallen out of love. I am sure he would much rather hear it than not hear it.

My wife decided she couldn't confide something like this in me and just assumed the marriage was broken and done for. To ensure it, she went off and started a new relationship with someone else.

In the end, at least give someone you're married to the benefit of hearing something they would not like to hear before you judge whether the indifference toward him is something you can overcome. You may be surprised what a degree of openness may unfold for the both of you.

Accepting the Unacceptable

On dealing with a messy child:

When we were young and irresponsible and would discard items willy-nilly around the house, my mother would pick them up and put them in a box. (She never picked up stuff from our bedrooms.) Then, once a week or so, she would haul out the box and "allow" us to purchase the items back as-is. Unredeemed items got dumped or donated and we lost them.

Sacramento

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