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Tell Me About It: Sister's request to delay wedding for a year goes too far

 
Published May 29, 2014

Sister's request that bride delay wedding for a year goes too far

Q: I am being asked to postpone my wedding date for over a year so that my pregnant sister can attend. She became pregnant soon after I got engaged, and her due date is only a month after our tentative wedding date. She will not allow the baby on a plane until he is a year old and refuses to travel "if he is excluded."

The wedding is a destination wedding by necessity, not by choice. How far do couples really need to go to ensure that all of the family is there?

Family

A: "How far" fits the classic definition of obscenity: I know it when I see it.

Asking a couple to postpone the start of their lives as a married couple by a full year is too far. A sister who is so invested in being part of your life celebration surely can respect that you'd like to get on with that life.

Any chance you could move the wedding date up to accommodate her? Or bring her in by video? Otherwise, with all due dismay for her absence, you're just as free to draw your arbitrary line (what happens at the one-year mark — babies sprout wings?) as she was to draw hers. Well, more so, since it's your party and you really can have it if you want to.