Q: My daughter got married in July. She and her husband did not receive a gift from some of the people who attended their wedding. She is concerned that maybe a gift was given but they never received it. Is there any way to graciously ask about this?
A: She can graciously treat their attendance as her gift, but cannot graciously notify them of accounts receivable under the pretext of finding lost gifts.
So, no. No asking.
Some gifts do get mislaid, but the onus is on the gift givers: In the absence of a thank-you note, they can contact the couple to express concern that their gifts were lost.
Expand on saying 'I'm sorry' to bridge any cultural gaps
Q: When someone I know shares something unfortunate — "I have a cold," or "My car broke down" — I will say, "I'm sorry." More often than not, the person will look a little flustered and say, "Oh, it's not your fault!"
Obviously it's not my fault, unless I passed along germs or broke their car — which, for the record, I'm pretty sure I haven't done.
Should people not say "I'm sorry" in these situations?
I'm Beginning to Develop a Complex
A: I'm sorry to hear that.
I mean, that's what you say to them. Affixing "… to hear that" helps bridge little cultural gaps.