Sunday, April 22, 2018
Parenting & Relationships

Tell Me About It: To protect yourself, end communication with ex

Q: A years-long relationship with a man I was sure would be my husband ended badly. Badly, as in, one day he just never spoke to me again. At all. No cheating (that I know of), no huge fight, nothing that would've merited that treatment. I'd spent holidays with his out-of-town family and vice versa, we'd been on vacations together, hosted parties together, you name it. It crushed me, to the point that I sought counseling.

Out of the blue, I started hearing from him via email/text many months later. No real apology, no genuine interest in my life — just references to old jokes and memories. He knows very well how much he hurt me.

My instinct is to cut this communication off completely, since it doesn't seem like a sincere effort to be kind or express regret. It's much harder than I thought to do this, because I haven't completely moved on despite trying very hard, and he was truly my best friend — until one day he wasn't.

I think I know the answer to this question — but nothing good can come from entertaining this communication, right? I'm amazed at how long my heart wants to hold on to the notion that a miracle could happen and change that — and enjoy the witty banter in the meantime.

Post-Breakup

A: Cut it off, please, for your own health, and say you're not interested in staying in touch — unless and until he's willing to explain what he did. That's his invitation to provide answers, one I hope he accepts.

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