Friday, January 19, 2018
Parenting & Relationships

Tell Me About It: Unwelcome houseguests wear out welcome

Q: We have had houseguests for a week. They are (thankfully) leaving today. It's my husband's friend and his wife. They wanted to visit the city we live in. I expected our place to be their crash pad, and that we would hang out in limited amounts. But instead they have wanted to hang out almost every evening after work. I have bowed out approximately half the time and let my husband deal with them on his own. I don't really click with the wife.

The couple themselves don't get along, and they have started arguing with each other pretty badly. I feel like I did my part by agreeing to let these near strangers stay in my guest room. I was not interested in playing tour guide or entertaining them for more than one or two evenings.

I think the husband has been leaning on us because he really hates spending time alone with his wife, but frankly I don't view that as my problem. I am struggling with my resentment and irritability toward them. How would you parse this? Is my perspective reasonable or am I being a (w)itch?

Host

A: Nothing brings out the crazy quite like having someone in your personal space for too long.

So, no, I don't fault you for your irritability, though sympathy might help. If you can't summon any for this unhappy couple, then maybe you can for your husband, who just cares about his friend. That bit of conscious warmth — plus the imminent end of your house arrest — might be all you need to rally, which in turn will be good for your marriage.

Given your aggravation levels, excusing yourself from half the festivities was the right call.

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