Saturday, May 26, 2018
Parenting & Relationships

Tell Me About It: Warn everyone in advance that they can't all be visited

Q: I moved away from my hometown last year, but I'll be taking regular business trips back that way for the next few months. Living there are my mom and dad (divorced), two siblings and several old friends. Last time I went home, I paid a visit to one sibling and spent the rest of my free time with co-workers. I never heard the end of it from everyone I didn't visit.

How do I manage everyone's expectations so that visiting one person doesn't hurt others' feelings? Sometimes I'm in the mood to meet Mom for coffee, but not to listen to Dad complain about aches and pains. Sometimes I'm in the mood to play with Sibling 1's baby, sometimes I just want to go to happy hour with Sibling 2. Am I wrong, or is this totally fair?

Hometown Blues

A: Totally fair. Warn everyone you can't possibly see everyone in one weekend, so you'll see one or two each time. Thank them all in advance for their understanding.

Don't feel guilty about people who won't be at wedding

Q: My favorite niece is planning a very small wedding in a restaurant and the only relatives she is inviting are her mother and father and me.

Another aunt who lives near the bride (I do not) may not be invited. Neither will my son, to whom she is also close. I feel guilty that my sister and son cannot be included. Do I attend and not tell them? Do I not go?

Aunt With a Dilemma

A: Individual exclusions from big weddings are a dilemma; mass exclusions from tiny weddings are not. Go, enjoy, promise to take good pictures.

Comments
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