Tuesday, November 21, 2017
Parenting & Relationships

Tell Me About It: Whether to snub stepmom is up to son

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Q: My ex-husband is divorcing his second wife and moving on to his new girlfriend. This year, our son graduates from high school and a graduation party will be held at my house. I planned to invite my son's stepmom, who is really the one who took care of my son during the court-ordered time he was away from home.

But my son has asked to only invite his father, as the divorce is pretty nasty and he does not want this toxic environment in our home during his special time. I plan to do what my son requests, as this is his graduation.

She and my son keep in touch and she wants to be at the graduation. What should I do, not send an invitation or call her to discuss?

Graduation Clash

A: What happened to: (C) Tell your son he needs to talk to his stepmom about this? Or (D) Ask him to reconsider excluding the woman who gave him so much? He's not 10, he's an adult now. Snubbing his stepmother is the injury; letting Mommy do the excluding for him is the insult. He needs to call his stepmother himself.

Trying not to be awkward only leads to awkwardness

Q: How do you have a non-awkward conversation with a past crush?

A.

A: You don't, because trying not to be awkward just piles it on — as everyone has figured out the hard way who has ever tried to be smooth, right?

If it helps, make the decision not to treat awkwardness as the worst possible outcome. It often feels that way to the awkward person, but to everyone else it tends to range from not noticeable to mildly annoying to outright charming. So, just say what you're going to say, in all its tic-infested glory. Whatcha gonna do.

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