Sunday, September 23, 2018
Parenting & Relationships

Tell Me About It: Wife is creeped out by husband's friend

Q: My best friend "Tara" dated a guy "Pat" for about six months after she had ended a seven-year relationship. Pat fell hard for her, but when he began discussing moving in together and next steps, Tara realized that she didn't feel the same way and knew it was better to end it earlier than lead him on.

We are all in our late 20s. It's been about two months since they broke up and Pat is having a really hard time — he texts her incessantly with things like, "You were the love of my life and now I feel empty."

The problem is that my husband, "Eric," and Pat really hit it off in those six months and Eric was really sad he was going to lose a potential great friend when they broke up. Eric moved to my hometown and doesn't have his own social circle here.

At first I thought it would be great if Eric and Pat still got together, and Tara had said it was fine. But now I am so weirded out by Pat's inability to move on that I don't want him in my life whatsoever.

Still, at what point does this go on for me to say, "Eric, I feel uncomfortable with you keeping Pat in your life?" Ideally I want my husband to cut him out without me saying anything, but I think he feels sorry for Pat and doesn't view anything as threatening.

Caught Between Friend and Her Ex

A: Talk to your husband like the partner he is. Say you're creeped out by the way Pat is texting your friend, and you think he's crossing a line. Ask Eric what he thinks.

Figure out, together, whether Eric agrees there's a problem, and, if so, whether the best move is for you to talk to Pat, Eric to talk to Pat, Eric to end the friendship, etc. And if Eric disagrees that Pat is creepy or that staying friends with Pat is creepy, then figure out how not to let other people's problems become your marriage's problem.

Don't just jump from a place of complete silence into making absolute demands.


Tell Me About It: Bean-counting brother needs a lesson in kindness

Q: My sister owns a few apartment buildings and my mother lives there rent-free. My mother plans to give my sister slightly more in her will. Our brother is angry about this, he wants my sister to just charge our mother rent. My sister thinks our mom...
Published: 09/21/18
Mark your calendar for these Halloween events

Mark your calendar for these Halloween events

13 Ugly Men Halloween PartyThese "ugly" men sure know how to party with three floors offering new tricks and treats, DJ dancing and a light show making the 10th annual Halloween party a "Party with a Purpose." Benefits Beat NB. 8 p.m. Oct. 26. Yborís...
Published: 09/19/18

Tell Me About It: Frequently displaced wife has had enough moves

Q: I have been married to my second husband for 24 years. We have a 16-year-old and I have two adult children.I have moved seven times in 17 years for his job. He didnít have to quit and take another job, but they were opportunities for him to climb ...
Published: 09/19/18
Where to find kid-friendly, not-so-scary Halloween fun

Where to find kid-friendly, not-so-scary Halloween fun

Spare the gore and take the kids to these family-friendly Halloween parties planned at theme parks and attractions in the coming weeks. Creatures of the Night at ZooTampa The weekend nighttime Halloween party at ZooTampa at Lowry Park returns with...
Published: 09/18/18

Tell Me About It: Busy couple seeks ways to downsize for the future

Q: Over a decade, my salary has tripled (Iím quite well-paid now), my work hours and responsibilities have increased, and ó because Iím so frequently tired or short on time ó my "outsourcing" has increased, too. Think: frequent takeout, a dog-walker,...
Published: 09/18/18

Tell Me About It: Parents want bully brother to be his best man

Q: Iím getting married. Thatís awesome. However, my parents want me to ask my brother to be my best man. The idea of letting my brother, whoís spent his whole life being the biggest jerk he can manage, stand up and give a speech about me makes me wan...
Published: 09/17/18

Tell Me About It: Mom is frustrated by teenís dislike of academics

Q: I have a 15-year-old son who is obviously bright but hates school. My husband and I canít helicopter him to success because (a) we donít want to be helicopter parents, and (b) he has developed ninja-like skills when it comes to evading any attempt...
Updated one month ago

Tell Me About It: In search of ways to stop the family over-talker

Q: During extended family get-togethers with my side of the family, there is one person who does 95 percent of the talking. When I ask someone else in the room a question about their lives, this person always jumps in and takes over the conversation ...
Updated one month ago
Busch Gardens reveals plans for Tigris, Florida's tallest launch roller coaster

Busch Gardens reveals plans for Tigris, Florida's tallest launch roller coaster

Busch Gardens will open Florida’s tallest launch coaster in spring 2019, company officials announced Wednesday. The triple-launch, tiger-themed roller coaster called Tigris will hurl riders 150 feet into the sky, turn them upside down and swirl...
Published: 09/12/18

Tell Me About It:

Mom-to-be decides who will join her in deliveryQ: I am six months pregnant with my first child. Iíve been fixated a bit on who to have in the delivery room with me, I think because itís one of the few elements I can control in this pregnancy. Should ...
Updated one month ago