Friday, January 19, 2018
Parenting & Relationships

Tell Me About It: Wife's torn about husband's mission trip

is torn about husband's mission trip

Q: My husband has been asked to go on a mission trip. He has done this in the past and really enjoyed it. I have also, before we had kids, but I have not gone away overnight, ever, since having kids.

He is really wanting to go and has asked me if I'd be okay with it. But I'm dreading the thought. It means I will be home all alone for a week with our five kids, one an infant.

Now I'm working more, we have a new baby who does not sleep, four other kids who are super active, going to school full time for my master's and trying to juggle all of the schedules and find a sitter for while I'm at work.

I will also admit I am just a tiny bit jealous because he gets to go away on these fun trips periodically and I never do because he couldn't handle parenting by himself for a week and has no idea how hard it actually is.

I need to give him an answer soon, and I'm not sure which one I can live with more.

To Mission Trip or Not

A: Um: "he couldn't handle parenting by himself for a week and has no idea how hard it actually is"?

They're his kids, too. In any kind of just world, he wouldn't ask you to shoulder anything extra for him until he signed himself up for any family job you already do.

And he'd do it not just once and not just to buy himself a wanted trip, but to (1) Give you your first overnight away since childbirth!; (2) Give your kids the unspoken message that they're as much his priority as they are yours; (3) Give your kids the unspoken message that taking responsibility is a parent's job, not a mother's; (4) Live and act in recognition of the fact that he is (pardon me) one falling piano away from being a single dad, since that awfulness would be more awful if he arrived for it as unprepared as you say.

Only you two know the whole story, of course. So give the answer your whole story supports, yes or no, without guilt — and likewise ask for whatever you need.

Comments
2018 Children’s Gasparilla Parade: Guide and insider tips

2018 Children’s Gasparilla Parade: Guide and insider tips

On Saturday, the kids get first crack at the booty from the pirates at the Children’s Gasparilla Extravaganza, the annual alcohol-free party on Bayshore Boulevard. To kick off the season of Jose Gaspar, the fictitious marauder whose legend has...
Published: 01/18/18
You can buy the balls from Amalieís Beach Tampa exhibit at auction

You can buy the balls from Amalieís Beach Tampa exhibit at auction

More than 100,000 people showed up at Amalie Arena in 2016 to frolic in a huge ball pit. It was a sea of 1.2 million white orbs so vast that grown men could belly flop and remain afloat. Almost two years after the Beach Tampa packed up, some 15,000 l...
Published: 01/18/18

Tell Me About It: FaceTime offense lands sister on the outs

FaceTime offense lands sister on the outsQ: When does FaceTime become an intrusion?My sister-in-law recently relocated to our area. We invited her to join us for our traditionally quiet New Yearís Eve celebration. About two hours before midnight, she...
Published: 01/18/18

Tell Me About It: Cousinís husband pursues young sisters

Cousinís husband pursues young sisters Q: I just found out that my nieceís husband has made inappropriate comments/propositions to both of my daughters, one still a minor (17). I have to tell my niece, right? I donít want to hurt her.Broken HeartA: Y...
Published: 01/18/18
Plan your weekend Jan. 19-21: Gasparilla Children’s Parade, Jake Owen, Riverdance, Florida Orchestra’s Dvorak

Plan your weekend Jan. 19-21: Gasparilla Children’s Parade, Jake Owen, Riverdance, Florida Orchestra’s Dvorak

Plan your weekend † Gasparilla Children’s Parade: A week before the more raucous pirate invasion, the G-rated version hits the streets. The Children’s Gasparilla Extravaganza and Parade kicks off Gasparilla season with a bicycle safety...
Published: 01/17/18
Top things to do this week: Steve Martin and Martin Short, Gasparilla Childrenís Parade

Top things to do this week: Steve Martin and Martin Short, Gasparilla Childrenís Parade

PICKING AND GRINNING: Steve Martin and Martin ShortThere wasnít a lot of bluegrass being played around Hamilton, Ontario, when Martin Short was a kid. But his decades-long friendship with Steve Martin has made him a fan, which brings An Evening With ...
Published: 01/17/18

Tell Me About It: Mom needs reassurance of their gratitude

Mom needs reassurance of their gratitudeQ: Whenever my mother gives me or my family member a gift, she ends up asking about it several times afterward. Does not matter if it was $5 or expensive.We always thank her for gifts, and these comments feel l...
Published: 01/16/18

Tell Me About It: Sister-in-lawís gall is of epic proportions

Sister-in-lawís gall is of epic proportionsQ: Iím a two-time, currently-Stage IV breast cancer survivor. When I was told I needed a double mastectomy, I did the research and decided to "go flat."For dressy occasions, I wear prostheses, but theyíre no...
Published: 01/16/18

Tell Me About It: Pregnancy makes move harder to bear

Pregnancy makes move harder to bearIím 27 weeks pregnant and just moved to a new city for a great job, but I think I made a big mistake. I loved my old life and feel so homesick for it. But my husband and I bought a house, so moving is not a feasible...
Published: 01/15/18

Tell Me About It: Mom is floored by daughterís pregnancy

Mom is floored by daughterís pregnancyQ: Iím literally shaking as I type this. My 15-year-old daughter is pregnant. I canít believe it. We had many good discussions about waiting until she was ready, using birth control when she was, but it all did n...
Published: 01/14/18