Q: I am about to start my sophomore year of college. During my freshman year I met a guy and fell in love with him. He is a really great guy but he was weird about our relationship: He refused to call us boyfriend-girlfriend even though we spent all our time together, slept together, and he told me he loved me. Then at the end of the school year he told me he didn't want to see me over the summer and has barely acknowledged me when I've called or texted him the last three months.
How am I supposed to act when I see him at school, and is there any hope he will be my boyfriend?
A: It's not hope that concerns me, it's the desire. To be his girlfriend now on the same terms, given what the summer has revealed about those terms, would cost you more in self-worth than any relationship is worth.
So please, when you see him again, be warm but disengaged. If he makes any moves toward resuming where you left off, please tell him no, thanks.
Wedding invitation exclusion is rude
Q: My 28-year-old daughter does not want the names of her future in-laws on her wedding invitation. Part of it is financial — my husband and I are paying the ample tab. The other issue is that she loves the father-in-law but finds the mother-in-law extremely mean-spirited and vindictive.
My husband and I don't like the woman either, but think we should put that aside and include the in-laws' names because it's respectful and might make life easier in negotiating a polite, working relationship for our daughter. What's your opinion?
A: My opinion is that it's weird not to see anything about the groom's opinion. They're his parents. And, presumably we aren't so far gone that we've forgotten half of this wedding is his.