Friday, January 19, 2018
Parenting & Relationships

Tell Me About It:

Q: My boyfriend is insecure. He's says it's just part of his personality, I say it's something one can change, if they work on it. Who's right?

Disputing Insecurity

A: Neither of you. He should be willing to work on it instead of just choosing to be needy, you should be aware that it's not your place to tell other people what they need to work on, and both of you should see that arguments over relationship "shoulds" are birds flying at plate glass windows thinking they're shiny bits of sky. (Poor birdies.)

Put your relationship expectations away somewhere and resolve just to enjoy people's company. If it works, it works, and if it doesn't, your irritation will tell you it's time to go.

You don't have to tiptoe around calendar for sensitive breakup

Q: I'm in a relationship that might need to end. She's awesome, but I can't seem to pull the trigger on committing to her for various reasons. One complication is that we are in a long-distance relationship and see each other only on weekends. A breakup over the phone won't do. She has different things going on on weekends that I wouldn't want to spoil by breaking up. How do people time breakups to be most sensitive?

Timing a Breakup

A: The ideal timing is when you're sure, can get there, and won't disrupt something important. As in, a deadline, test, major event. You don't have to tiptoe around every entry on her calendar.

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