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Tell Me About It: Accepting mom for who she is, not who you wish she were

Q: A recent column about family ( really hit home.

For years I've been trying to make my relationship with my mom better, always hoping that if I just tried harder and did more she would love me and accept me. We've had some wonderful times but it's always been a roller coaster.

I finally hit rock bottom with her and feel like I need to let go of the mom I want her to be and accept her for who she is and grieve that loss, but make the most of what I do have. Any book recommendations?

I will be pursuing therapy; I think it's a must.


A: I'm sorry for your disappointment, but it sounds as if you have a lot of good things ahead of you now — the inherent benefit in "rock bottom."

The first book I thought of was Anywhere But Here by Mona Simpson. A novel probably isn't the type of book you had in mind, but it's Difficult Mom Distancing immersion.

Another offbeat offering that I suspect will hit the spot is the movie Ruby in Paradise, starring a young Ashley Judd in the kind of role I wish she had stuck to. It's a pitch-perfect take on the transition from a life where others let you down to a life where you come through for yourself. It's lovely, really, and that's not a word I typically use with a straight face.

Tell Me About It: Accepting mom for who she is, not who you wish she were 12/06/13 [Last modified: Monday, December 2, 2013 3:08pm]
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