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Tell Me About It: Be ready with response to breast-feeding query

 
Published May 13, 2014

Q: Do you think it's rude for people to ask if you are still breast-feeding?

I breast-fed my children longer than most (more than a year, less than two). While my family and friends knew I was breast-feeding, it's not something I loudly campaign for and I prefer to do it discreetly.

Yet, people still feel it's okay to ask if I'm still nursing my 15-month-old. I think it's a question along the lines of asking people when they're going to settle down and get married or when they're going to have kids — that is, none of your darn business.

What's your opinion, Carolyn?

By the way, I always answer the question simply and honestly with a yes or no because I'm happy with my choice, but the reactions from people run the gamut, which might be why I'm sensitive to it. Some say "how wonderful" or "good for you," while others are exasperated: "Are you really?"

Rude?

Carolyn: "That's kind of an odd question. Why do you ask?" That way you'll see whether you're getting interest from people who are weighing their own choices, or judging yours.

Or you can solve it after the fact: "Had I known you were just looking to judge me, I wouldn't have answered so politely."

Anonymous: "Of course not! My mother weaned me long ago!"

Carolyn: Oh to be this quick, just once. Thank you.