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Q: I have five siblings. Our widowed, elderly mother lives in a retirement community that requires our financial support to help pay for it.

One sibling was unemployed last year. So, we let him out of financial support until he was on his feet again. He and spouse are working again (for several months now) but are not providing financial support despite direct requests to do so.

I'm angry and resentful because, of course, the rest of us have financial obligations, too, and yet we all manage to provide support (the amount is far less than $100 per month). What can I do to encourage brother to start paying again?


A: Drop it. It's not right for your brother to duck this without explanation, but he's doing it, so your choices are to either suck it up or shake him down. Leave it to his conscience and be right with your own — and leave room for the possibility that he just needs more time to catch up.

Applying math to love is a losing proposition

Q: Dating a guy whose first love cheated on him. He forgave her and took her back, until she cut him off completely for new guy.

He says he loves me more than he ever loved her, but if I ever cheat, we are through. I say he loved her more and feel he is settling for me. Please help me understand his logic.


A: So, his taking her back = he loved her more?

Please don't be so literal about people. He might have changed course because he learned something. Typically a good sign.

Another suggestion, unsolicited: Trying to parse who loved whom more is rookie stuff. You have what you have, and what matters is whether it fits.

Tell Me About It:

05/15/14 [Last modified: Friday, May 16, 2014 1:18pm]
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