Shannon, this may not come as a surprise to you. I like hot women.
But just a few slots below "attractive" on my wish list for the ideal mate is "sense of humor." Actually, reverse that, because good looks can fade and get boring but laughter never gets old.
The dilemma is finding a knockout who can deliver a good punch line. In women's terms: It's like finding your George Clooney and discovering he also has an insatiable affinity for shoe shopping and Oprah Winfrey reruns.
In the past, the phrase "hot female comedian" was an oxymoron. See Whoopi Goldberg, Rosanne Barr, Paula Poundstone, Rosie O'Donnell and Ellen. Yep, case closed!
This weekend, though, comedian Lynne Koplitz makes a stop at the Improv in Ybor. And guys, guess what? She's fine! Like Cindy Crawford-telling-jokes fine.
If you can't dig on that, guys, let me ask you this. Think of the three hottest women you know. Sure, you'd want to spend the night with them, but how 'bout being stuck on a week-long drive across the country? Chances are you'd wanna hang yourself by the time you hit Louisiana.
Now picture that same trip with a Koplitz or Jenny McCarthy or Sarah Silverman. You're spooning with a smile every night and mooning passing cars by day. I don't know about y'all, but I'm picking the babe who can get a rise out of me and still appreciate a good fart joke.
It's like getting our cake and eating it too.
Dave, why am I not surprised that you seek a woman who is not just hot, but hot for fart jokes? Classy as always, my friend. You never disappoint!
I don't actually believe you would ever put sense of humor over hotness on your "ideal mate" criteria, as you claim. I've seen you drool over too many girls after seeing nothing more than their ample backside. And the backsides weren't making knock-knock jokes, if you know what I mean.
I do agree with you that a hot mate with a dull sense of humor is about as exciting as a plastic ventriloquist doll. For example, anyone who thinks Jay Leno is actually funny would be classified in my book as BO-RING!
If we're being honest, we'll admit the way a person looks is important. It's what makes us linger over one face — or in your case, body part — longer than another.
But it's what happens after two people get past the initial "hellos" and small talk that the real chemistry test begins. And laughter is a huge spark-maker.
A guy could look like David Beckham's twin, but if he's not funny or appreciative of his mate's sense of humor, it's time to find someone new — even if that "someone" is less ripped and chiseled.
Because when you're laughing with someone you want, the whole world just seems like a prettier place.