Adapted from a recent online discussion.
When it comes to art, let beauty be in the eye of the beholder
Chicago: How bothered should I be that my significant other is seriously judgmental of my taste in music and movies?
Carolyn: Define "seriously judgmental." Direct quotes if possible. Thanks.
Chicago again: On movies: "I don't think you're shallow, but in general I think it's shallow only to like (particular subgenre of movies I like) and not challenge yourself intellectually, so I'm surprised you do."
On music: "There's more to music than how easy it is to remember the chorus, but I know not everyone appreciates that."
In general, he's really serious about Art and Film, and he looks down on me for not using my preferences in those areas to access my deeper emotions and challenge my philosophies on life.
Carolyn: It's taking everything I have not to type RUN! RUN! RUN!
(1) Who says you don't access your deeper emotions and challenge your philosophies on life? Is this his opinion, or yours?
(2) If you agree with him, do you also agree it's his place to upgrade you?
(3) If you agree that you need improvement and that capital-A Art and capital-F Film (glad I had a light breakfast) are the answer, then have you and he agreed on a philosophical level that will qualify you as his equal? Or is he just going to rule on that when you get there (or fail to)?
(4) If you don't agree with him, then why are you putting up with this?
There's another offended party here, for whom I feel I must speak: There are people who appreciate art who aren't high on their own hot gas.
Alaska: Re: Seriously Judgmental: Okay, it is annoying when someone acts all high and mighty.
But you know what else is annoying? EVERY gag-worthy Kate Hudson rom-com and Britney Spears single. I'm not saying he should be judging her personally based on her entertainment choices, but it doesn't sound like he is. If my significant other wanted to rent ONLY vapid stuff, I would be very annoyed. Maybe they should strike some kind of 50-50 compromise where she watches a David Lynch film every once in a while if he's forced to endure, gasp, a fluffy movie every now and then.
Carolyn: Exhibit A for why the divorce rate stays high.
Anything that involves forcing the other to share an activity or interest, just because that's what you do when you're part of a couple, is the kind of reasoning that brings people together even though they don't respect the other's taste, values or right to choose.
Yoo-hoo: Date someone else.
Consuming ONLY vapid stuff is not an equivalent crime to shoving ideology down someone's throat, either. The vapid-consumer is not, in your scenario, insisting that anyone else watch it, appreciate it, develop shallow new philosophies rooted in it. It's just one person devotedly enjoying crap. I'll defend to the bitter end a person's right to do that.