SEASON FINALE The Bachelor, 8 p.m., ABC: Ben Flajnik has to pick someone, or at least break some girl's heart so he sates his thirst for emotional vengeance after getting slam-dunked himself.
Hawaii Five-0, 10 p.m., CBS: How can we concentrate on this Grace Park story line when Tom Sizemore and William Baldwin are guest-starring? That's ratings gold, right there.
SERIES PREMIERE Fashion Star, 9:30 p.m., NBC: It's like Project Runway with Elle Macpherson as the host and Jessica Simpson, Nicole Richie and John Varvatos as the judges. Oh, and you can buy the winning designs after each episode.
Wild Serengeti, 10 p.m., Animal Planet: Another nature show set in Africa you'll let your kids watch because it's educational, then immediately regret when some cheetah kills a baby antelope.
SERIES PREMIERE Interior Therapy With Jeff Lewis, 9 p.m., Bravo: House flipper Jeff gets another spinoff, since he seems like such a pleasant man to be around.
SEASON PREMIERE South Park, 10 p.m., Comedy Central: Sixteen seasons and counting, which suddenly makes us feel really old. It's always an adventure seeing who they offend next.
SEASON PREMIERE The First 48: Missing Persons, 10 p.m., A&E: Cops suspect there's a connection between two missing women and their missing kids. Besides that they're all missing, we mean.
SEASON PREMIERE Jersey Shore, 10 p.m., MTV: This series may be winding down (or not, depending on what MTV decides), but the spinoffs are already multiplying like a bad case of lice, so don't get too down about it.
Shark Tank, 8 p.m., ABC: A Florida couple pitch an anti-cellulite project. Yeah, it's called turning off the TV and getting up off the couch.
SEASON PREMIERE Fairly Legal, 9 p.m., USA: Kate has a new romantic prospect to consider, as if her pending divorce wasn't moving quickly enough.
Joshua Gillin, email@example.com